Thanks for taking the time to read and help out with the snippets I keep posting every week. You've all been an amazing help. This week I had to use some creative whittling to make this snippet come to the correct word count. Thanks so much!
For those finding my blog for the first time, this is a clip from DWARFED, my YA manuscript featuring an adorable farm boy, Luke, and a high spirited, fun loving girl with dwarfism.
For those finding my blog for the first time, this is a clip from DWARFED, my YA manuscript featuring an adorable farm boy, Luke, and a high spirited, fun loving girl with dwarfism.
My phone vibrates, a text from
Maggie about dinner, saves me from having to think of an response. “I have to go.”
“Uh,
Grace.”
“Not now,”
I tell him, “I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”
“Grace,
you might want to ...”
I take a step, a single step and
my skirt jerks tight around my ankles, yanking my feet out from under me, and I
plummet, face first, towards the nursery crate floor.
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Oh, heavens. Talk about an ignominious exit, LOL! She keeps having one issue after another! Great six!!
ReplyDeleteThat's how life seems to go. Thanks :)
DeleteOh, poor thing! How embarrassing!
ReplyDeleteFarming's never boring :)
DeleteWay to create a visual, Jess. Very cruel yet funny six, sort of a classic slapstick-y moment you created this week! Unexpected, in a really good way! :)
ReplyDeleteThanks. This scene is so heavy, I felt it needed something to lighten it up. My goal is for DWARFED to be a fun read, though I do tend to lose that from time to time.
DeleteOMG...Love that unexpected twist. Great job with your six this week Jess!
ReplyDeleteThanks so much!
DeleteUh-oh, she should have listened. What delicious fun! Find Kristal Here
ReplyDeleteOuch. That is an ignominious exit! I think the first sentence of the snippet would be better separated into two, but maybe that's just a result of your creative whittling to meet the six sentence limit. Good six!
ReplyDeleteI'm inclined to agree with you about the first sentence. In the manuscript I broke up this particular snippet a little differently. I just couldn't figure out how to fit everything into six sentences and have everything end the way I wanted it to. The six sentence limit can be a headache sometimes. Thanks!
DeleteOops! Nothing worse than trying to make a dignified exit and falling flat on your face!
ReplyDeleteIt seems to be the story of my own life, though I don't fall so much as walk face first into doorways. It seemed like a good way to lighten the scene after the drama of the earlier issues Grace and Luke dealt with.
DeleteOh, you're not making it easy on her! Very nice six, Jess.
ReplyDeleteKate, you and I both know that when it comes to characters, life's not supposed to be easy :)
DeleteOh, poor thing! And he was only trying to warn her it sounds like!
ReplyDeleteNow who--or what--is standing on her skirt?
ReplyDeleteOh, man, poor Grace. On the other hand, gives Luke a chance to be heroic. ;)
ReplyDeleteCatch her, Luke! Oh and he did try to warn her, too. You have two very sympathetic characters here.
ReplyDeleteI'm quite fond of both of them, which makes writing the writing fun.
DeleteI'd just suggest maybe saying "which saves me from..." in the first sentence, but I love the excerpt! I can picture all that happening as well as her probably red face. We've all had moments similar to this I think so we can really relate to her here. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for the advice!
DeleteOh, man! Just her luck. I think that kind of thing has happened to every one of us at some point or another.
ReplyDeleteOh no! (I actually gasped "Oh no!" out loud...so that should tell what a good job you did here. ;D)
ReplyDeleteLOL! Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it.
DeleteOwwwww! Poor Grace. I hope she recovers with her usual style. ;-)
ReplyDeleteOh noooooo! lolol... Poor Grace. he tried...he tried. But in race style, she might just give him what-for over her tumble. :-) Nice, Jess. Paints a vivid picture--and good job taking the reader into her head. :-)
ReplyDelete"But in Grace style"
DeleteUgh! I will replace this keyboard soon. :-)
LOL, thanks Teresa.
Deletelol poor thing. I have those moments too.
ReplyDeleteGreat six, Jess. This reminded me of my mother. She excelled at shadow-tripping too ;-)
ReplyDeleteWhoa, hope she didn't hurt herself when she hit the ground. Very realistic though, and the readers will like it. Good six Jess!
ReplyDeleteThank you. I hope you're right :)
DeleteJess, your six made me laugh. Great job! I love it when a heroine thinks she's right and refuses to listen. Gets her every time.
ReplyDeleteThank you. I'm glad you enjoyed it :)
DeleteUh oh! I feel a little guilty for smiling. ;c) Although that's not the cleanest place to take a dive, LOL. (We raise piglets - they're cute, but they stink! *grin*) Fun six!
ReplyDeleteDon't feel guilty, I laughed when I wrote it. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
DeleteYikes! She's going to feel a bit embarrassed, isn't she? Nice description, Jess! Fun six!
ReplyDeleteRyan
Thanks Ryan :)
DeleteUhoh, that is embarrassing! nice six!
ReplyDeleteWHAT!!!!!!! oh no!! Great six Jess!
ReplyDeleteHugs,
A
Thanks Amy!
DeleteInteresting premise for the story - I really felt sorry for her when she fell ...effective six!
ReplyDeleteOh no!! That's *so* something I would do! :(
ReplyDeleteYou and me both :)
Delete