tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6456386419847525258.post3300231995757850934..comments2023-07-21T07:38:15.376-04:00Comments on Whimsical Quests of a Curious Mind: Six Sentence Sunday: Fools and Runts 10Jess Schirahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04930756756945812094noreply@blogger.comBlogger23125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6456386419847525258.post-34522364375510728412012-07-22T13:36:35.132-04:002012-07-22T13:36:35.132-04:00I never mind crits. Tense hopping seems to be a sp...I never mind crits. Tense hopping seems to be a special problem I have. Thanks.Jess Schirahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04930756756945812094noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6456386419847525258.post-69463529000543982432012-07-22T10:55:16.966-04:002012-07-22T10:55:16.966-04:00Hehe! Thanks!Hehe! Thanks!Jess Schirahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04930756756945812094noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6456386419847525258.post-44960081041508435352012-07-22T10:18:22.635-04:002012-07-22T10:18:22.635-04:00LOL, I'm jealous of Grace's lashes. Luke&#...LOL, I'm jealous of Grace's lashes. Luke's got some issues of his own, that will cause there own stumbling blocks. I agree, the rough patches make for the best reading.Jess Schirahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04930756756945812094noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6456386419847525258.post-36838276769139294642012-07-22T08:27:06.177-04:002012-07-22T08:27:06.177-04:00That's a really good question! I addressed the...That's a really good question! I addressed the issue in a scene way before this, and struggled with it. At the beginning of the story, Grace took her height in stride, and preferred to think of herself as without labels, but if someone had to use her height as a description, she preferred dwarf. Recent events have made her a bit sensitive. Thanks!Jess Schirahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04930756756945812094noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6456386419847525258.post-29986362928363856432012-07-22T07:50:33.380-04:002012-07-22T07:50:33.380-04:00Thank you so much! You're so sweet!Thank you so much! You're so sweet!Jess Schirahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04930756756945812094noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6456386419847525258.post-89507056007680295072012-07-16T13:14:12.973-04:002012-07-16T13:14:12.973-04:00fantastic characters! and this snippet has great c...fantastic characters! and this snippet has great conflict :)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01357192759760252342noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6456386419847525258.post-26500500673181647322012-07-16T07:37:41.044-04:002012-07-16T07:37:41.044-04:00This comment has been removed by the author.Jess Schirahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04930756756945812094noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6456386419847525258.post-36702088313889097092012-07-16T07:30:03.021-04:002012-07-16T07:30:03.021-04:00That's how things go sometimes!That's how things go sometimes!Jess Schirahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04930756756945812094noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6456386419847525258.post-56898430532408760182012-07-15T19:42:00.047-04:002012-07-15T19:42:00.047-04:00I agree with Wildcat's wife... you do a great ...I agree with Wildcat's wife... you do a great job of writing with an animal in the scene. Your love for and knowledge of animals really comes through. One question: Does she mind being called a dwarf? My neighbors have a teen daughter with dwarfism and she prefers to be called a person with dwarfism, not a dwarf. Maybe you already address this but her reaction to this terminology would be interesting to know.Linda Morrishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05113981098789732198noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6456386419847525258.post-50811348939609747502012-07-15T18:03:25.602-04:002012-07-15T18:03:25.602-04:00Nice six, Jess. This is my favorite line: "...Nice six, Jess. This is my favorite line: "Torn, I peer up at him through my lashes." So feminine. The lashes. If you had not included "...through my lashes." it would have changed the atmosphere, taking it another direction.<br /><br />Ha! Luke doesn't stand a chance. But she has such a chip on her shoulder, analyzing everything he says for what he might not have said. Lots of stumbles ahead for them. But that DOES make for some good reading ;-)Teresa Cypherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08940430996766842518noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6456386419847525258.post-66527142246503933962012-07-15T14:25:47.463-04:002012-07-15T14:25:47.463-04:00I think he's trying to be nice in his own way....I think he's trying to be nice in his own way. Maybe he doesn't realize how she's interpreting him. Nice six! :)Jessica E. Subjecthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14356934162311768234noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6456386419847525258.post-27406581757739986042012-07-15T13:55:32.794-04:002012-07-15T13:55:32.794-04:00Aww bless, he's doing his best isn't he? A...Aww bless, he's doing his best isn't he? And Grace seems to appreciate it.<br /><br />A few little hiccups on the construction front but I think they have been mentioned above.Elin Gregoryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09467512757347720397noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6456386419847525258.post-21902320749121602692012-07-15T13:19:44.974-04:002012-07-15T13:19:44.974-04:00That is the coolest thing to say. I really like hi...That is the coolest thing to say. I really like his internal poetry and honesty, that he can see beyond what others do. Well done six, Jess. :)Siobhan Muirhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00595776353171184107noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6456386419847525258.post-12746078416087015672012-07-15T13:17:05.698-04:002012-07-15T13:17:05.698-04:00This little piggy is going to win the hearts of ma...This little piggy is going to win the hearts of many. You do such an amazing job writing with an animal in the scene.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6456386419847525258.post-43828037141113760252012-07-15T12:24:33.377-04:002012-07-15T12:24:33.377-04:00Luke is so sweet and awkward. And he knows how to ...Luke is so sweet and awkward. And he knows how to charm a girl...and a pig! ;) <br /><br />(FYI, I hope you don't mind a little crit -- there's some tense hopping going on in these: Luke shrugged, then mutters.)Monica Enderle Piercehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08906580310155422359noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6456386419847525258.post-83878505752056063942012-07-15T12:21:52.586-04:002012-07-15T12:21:52.586-04:00Great details in your conversation -- nice Six!Great details in your conversation -- nice Six!Daezarkian13https://www.blogger.com/profile/08839083029518977312noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6456386419847525258.post-5036869153954937092012-07-15T12:16:09.361-04:002012-07-15T12:16:09.361-04:00Aw, nice save Luke. He's so endearing and I li...Aw, nice save Luke. He's so endearing and I liked the beat you added of him rubbing the pig behind the ear--you showed his discomfort without telling us.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6456386419847525258.post-1908274950478062672012-07-15T12:10:39.122-04:002012-07-15T12:10:39.122-04:00Luke does have a way of putting his foot in his mo...Luke does have a way of putting his foot in his mouth.Sue Ann Bowlinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17692320238497263942noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6456386419847525258.post-41941684174228029102012-07-15T11:53:22.471-04:002012-07-15T11:53:22.471-04:00Yes, Luke certainly has a way with words. Very nic...Yes, Luke certainly has a way with words. Very nice six, Jess!Katehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12147367022405971648noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6456386419847525258.post-7373241764675988332012-07-15T11:05:19.752-04:002012-07-15T11:05:19.752-04:00A really intense moment between those two. God, I ...A really intense moment between those two. God, I worry this might turn out to be an invitation to "friendsville" on Luke's part. I hope not. Love your six, Jess. :)DasNukhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06513945470399592454noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6456386419847525258.post-39227981166331068062012-07-15T10:20:54.085-04:002012-07-15T10:20:54.085-04:00Luke's got a poet's heart, I think. Great ...Luke's got a poet's heart, I think. Great six! Here's a proofing note: "continue" would be clearer as a piece of dialogue with an initial cap, (and also since it's a sentence of dialogue unto itself), "Continue."<br /><br />"the action causing the enormous pig shivered" should be "to shiver"<br /><br />"shrugged", "reached over": try muttered instead of mutters, since previous in past tense.<br /><br />Hope this helps!K.E. Saxon, Authorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15244003000725142864noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6456386419847525258.post-65771929235995000822012-07-15T10:01:07.948-04:002012-07-15T10:01:07.948-04:00Bless. I think maybe I'm warming to Luke a lit...Bless. I think maybe I'm warming to Luke a little. You've created two wonderfully rounded characters here, well done.Karen de Langehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12976578068443326404noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6456386419847525258.post-67734358321809831122012-07-15T09:25:11.691-04:002012-07-15T09:25:11.691-04:00That's a nice way of putting it. I love his w...That's a nice way of putting it. I love his way with the pigs. Seems he's more at ease with them than with girls, or at least this girl.Katehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10261759171411084998noreply@blogger.com