tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6456386419847525258.post4814208857770103529..comments2023-07-21T07:38:15.376-04:00Comments on Whimsical Quests of a Curious Mind: A Little Sunday Writing Sample #WEWRIWAJess Schirahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04930756756945812094noreply@blogger.comBlogger14125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6456386419847525258.post-75825873211835629322013-09-03T10:28:02.884-04:002013-09-03T10:28:02.884-04:00She must be in deep trouble if the only thing she ...She must be in deep trouble if the only thing she can read in her reaction to him is that the worse is to come. Lindahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13346034896296813841noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6456386419847525258.post-16542116228287985622013-09-02T01:27:41.805-04:002013-09-02T01:27:41.805-04:00You absolutely put me there and made me feel what ...You absolutely put me there and made me feel what she felt. This is fab!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6456386419847525258.post-3305425751310647602013-09-01T23:01:18.197-04:002013-09-01T23:01:18.197-04:00Keep it together darlin'...shoot, you've g...Keep it together darlin'...shoot, you've got me all worried!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05551671528722336812noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6456386419847525258.post-30691428672145411472013-09-01T21:56:31.395-04:002013-09-01T21:56:31.395-04:00Bitter perspective from bitter experience, yes? Ni...Bitter perspective from bitter experience, yes? Nicely done, Jess. :)Siobhan Muirhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00595776353171184107noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6456386419847525258.post-65534906242229933322013-09-01T15:30:01.406-04:002013-09-01T15:30:01.406-04:00But some change can be for the good...I'm fasc...But some change can be for the good...I'm fascinated by this story and all the small mysteries you're oh-so-skillfully setting up for us LOL. Excellent excerpt!Veronica Scotthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04732940088047026021noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6456386419847525258.post-45937763725686795592013-09-01T14:36:44.220-04:002013-09-01T14:36:44.220-04:00Sometimes all you want if for things to stay the s...Sometimes all you want if for things to stay the same and not tilt further out of control.Sue Ann Bowlinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17692320238497263942noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6456386419847525258.post-87761344161417084192013-09-01T13:55:36.136-04:002013-09-01T13:55:36.136-04:00Interesting snippet. Sense of more implicit in jus...Interesting snippet. Sense of more implicit in just a few words. Excellent!Cheryl Mhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02904294724475864288noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6456386419847525258.post-54663307579194501202013-09-01T12:59:05.381-04:002013-09-01T12:59:05.381-04:00Am curious to know what's in the crates. And t...Am curious to know what's in the crates. And the description of her reaction to "the darker man" is delicious.PThttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02077084023001310425noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6456386419847525258.post-16988063354681282072013-09-01T11:13:33.938-04:002013-09-01T11:13:33.938-04:00Bees make much more sense than butterflies!
I ho...Bees make much more sense than butterflies! <br /><br />I hope the foreshadowed change is better than she's fearing...Sarah Whttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13265589529909793312noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6456386419847525258.post-50067485851557160072013-09-01T10:20:09.942-04:002013-09-01T10:20:09.942-04:00Intriguing snippet! I want to know more... Loved t...Intriguing snippet! I want to know more... Loved the bee metaphor. Great touch!Karen Michelle Nutthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04083893569523248900noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6456386419847525258.post-71700456010179454632013-09-01T09:54:21.781-04:002013-09-01T09:54:21.781-04:00I like the metaphor of the bees. One thing I notic...I like the metaphor of the bees. One thing I noticed is that you repeat 'my father' in one sentence. "my father and I moved everything into the house, which my father felt was more appropriate.." Perhaps use 'he' instead. Just a little suggestion. Great scene overall.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6456386419847525258.post-16072419663751176112013-09-01T09:21:56.504-04:002013-09-01T09:21:56.504-04:00Yeah the bees are a unique touch and make sense to...Yeah the bees are a unique touch and make sense too :D :D <br /><br />The excerpt makes me wonder what kind of business these people are into. You've alluded to it before and I'm getting curiouser and curiouser about it! <br /><br />One suggestion: to me, the phrase "the last thing she needed right now" means pretty much the same as "She already had more trouble than she could handle" so perhaps you could drop one of those. And of course when she says that, I wanna know what kind of trouble's going on!<br /><br />Super snippet, Jess :)Owlladyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12989152304836466124noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6456386419847525258.post-86266257235869214762013-09-01T08:08:28.134-04:002013-09-01T08:08:28.134-04:00Even though she has a sense of foreboding, maybe t...Even though she has a sense of foreboding, maybe the changes will turn out to be favorable.<br />Nice analogy with the bees.<br />I've always heard of butterflies in the stomach, but never bees.<br />I'll have to remember that!FCEtierhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14199098303138353894noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6456386419847525258.post-36264828403466489022013-09-01T07:52:16.971-04:002013-09-01T07:52:16.971-04:00Very telling--she immediately anticipates bad thin...Very telling--she immediately anticipates bad things happening not good. Her depression blankets the scene. Gem Sivadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01233835029255570402noreply@blogger.com