Thanks for taking the time to read my offering. Any and all comment and criticisms will be welcomed and given serious consideration.
Toad’s stomach cramped as he moved along the fence
line, ignoring the way the hair at the back of his
neck stood at attention. He wished Jeffery had left him in the tower. At least
when he was locked in that tiny room he’d known what was on the other side.
The scars criss-crossing his back protested as Toad stretched, slipping his fingers into a crevice between two bricks and grasping a vine with his other hand. His muscles strained as he slowly made his way up the wall. He’d made a promise which he intended to keep.
The scars criss-crossing his back protested as Toad stretched, slipping his fingers into a crevice between two bricks and grasping a vine with his other hand. His muscles strained as he slowly made his way up the wall. He’d made a promise which he intended to keep.
***
It's a great shot, but it didn't work for me. I've been in a historical mood, and my characters were long gone before the first strand of barbed wire was used .
Madison's prompt triggered thoughts about a dangerous fence, which I combined with a quote to get a this weeks 100 words.
“There comes a time in a man's life when to get where he has
to go--if there are no doors or windows--he walks through a wall.”
You can find the links to other Friday Fictioneers here.
Interesting. For me the picture resonated but I've been reflective with the past two weeks being Holocaust Remembrance and Israel Independence.
ReplyDeleteHere's my offering www.rochelle-wisoff.blogspot.com
I have a feeling that this prompt will take people down all sorts of paths. Thanks for taking the time to stop by. I can't wait to read yours.
DeleteSo much backstory hinted at, but it doesn't overwhelm the piece. Nicely done./
ReplyDeleteYou might want to look at "the hairs stood at attention." That phrase seems a bit cliche, maybe.
Thanks for reading it, and for pointing out the cliche. I'll definitely see if I can think of anything I'd rather use.
DeleteInteresting snapshot, I'd be interested in reading more.
ReplyDeletehttp://castelsarrasin.wordpress.com/2012/04/27/trespass/
I'd love to read more. Much suspense here. Here is mine:http://readinpleasure.wordpress.com/2012/04/27/fridayfictioneers-sobibor/
ReplyDeleteVery interesting take. Many others were drawn in a similar direction with this weeks prompt.
ReplyDeleteHere's mine: http://thebradleychronicles.wordpress.com/
Trespassers beware! :)
ReplyDeleteIs there a dog/a guard waiting with a knowing smile on the other side? I hope not! :)
Good work!
Parul
http://faitaccompli.wordpress.com/2012/04/27/building-boundaries/
Hmm, I'm not quite sure yet, I'm hoping to spend sometime this weekend finding out. Thanks for stopping by.
DeleteVery curious story, Jess. Toad's situation and character are both compelling.
ReplyDeleteI'm curious about Toad's scars, and why he's going up into another tower, if he has left the previous one. I loved the description. Nicely done, Jess.
ReplyDeleteHere's mine:
http://siobhanmuir.blogspot.com/2012/04/another-200-words-for-fridayfictioneers.html
Siobhan
Thank you. Toad's a character in my current WIP so I suspect he's going to pop a lot on Fridays. Thanks for taking the time to stop by.
ReplyDeleteToad sounds like a very interesting charachter but I couldn't make out if it was a child or adult. I'm intrigued, I hope you develop this story futher.
ReplyDeleteThanks!
DeleteNice piece would love to read more of the story
ReplyDeleteI thought I left a comment on this, but I guess not. I found the part about the scars criss crossing his back intriguing and would love to know more.
ReplyDeleteHere's a link to my site: http://unduecreativity.wordpress.com/2012/04/26/sharp/
Thanks for stopping by.
ReplyDeleteThe struggle and tension with this story was spot-on. Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteMine at: http://the-drabbler.com/trespass/
I loved that quote, and even if your story didn't use the fence as depicted, it was no more vague a connection than mine was. It doesn't matter if the picture doesn't feature in the story. I just use it to springboard from and sometimes what comes to mind might have been prompted by the photo but not necessarily reflected by it.
ReplyDeleteGreat story. You set a scene very effectively and I wonder why Toad was held prisoner.