Sunday, July 1, 2012

Six Sentence Sunday VIII

Yikes, I was so busy this weekend, we just had two foals born in the past 24 hours, I completely forgot about this weeks Six Sentence Sunday. Better a little late than not at all, eh! This week's picks up right where last week's left off. I'm not completely sure about the dialouge in this section, and may be rewriting it later. Thanks for stopping by!

Luke shuffles his feet, and I can practically see the wheels turning in his head. “Grace, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that the way it sounded. I forgot about your size.”
            “You forgot? Pray tell, how you could forget? I’m standing right in front of you!”


35 comments:

  1. Hmmm, maybe he's a person who genuinely sees past external appearances... or maybe he's just thoughtless. Right now, I wouldn't care to lay a bet. Congratulations on creating such an enigmatic character!

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    1. Thank you. I'm very proud of both these characters.

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  2. Maybe he forgot because he's come to accept her the way she is and no longer thinks of her as "different?" It will be interesting to see the rest of this scene and discover if that's the case. Good six!

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  3. I completely agree with Karen's impression of Luke. The scene plays out well, and the dialogue rounds it out nicely. I wouldn't change anything in this section. :)

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    1. Thanks for the thoughts. I tend to get over critical and second guess myself.

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  4. Poor Luke, he can't get it right! Great six, Jess.

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  5. This is fabulous characterization. We "see" so much of what makes your characters tick just in their dialogue and reactions. Great six!!

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  6. Such an exciting weekend for you. :)

    Nice six!

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  7. I think it's a good sign that he forgot about her size. Could mean he sees her as a person, not just a small person. Nice six, Jess.

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    1. That's what I was shooting for with this scene. I'm also hoping to use it to force Grace to confront some issues she doesn't know she's dealing with. Thanks for stopping by :)

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  8. Nice, Jess. I agree with Kate. I mean, on his part, it isn't necessarily a bad thing. Yet, from her perspective, she would read things into his words--about runts and sizes that he might not have meant.

    Interesting. Great six!

    Congrats on the two new foals. It has been years since I watched one stand on its wobbly legs for the first time. Good memories. :-)

    Have a great week. :-)

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  9. I suspect he's just digging himself deeper. Fun six, Jess. :)

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  10. Oh! Congrats on the two new babies!

    And love this scene. I wonder if her size is more of an issue for her than it is for him?

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  11. Babies! I remember those days. Mine always seemed to come in the middle of the night and the mares always kicked up a fuss, which upset the dog, who then insisted I get up to help. LOL

    I love that he forgets about her size. That bodes well for him! And I agree with Sadie. I wonder if she's not fixated on it a bit more than he is...hrm....

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    1. Both of these came at two in the morning, and one of the mares needed some human intervention, but now that they're here, we're enjoying getting to know them.

      Thanks for taking the time to read this snippet, I do appreciate it.

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  12. Interesting six, and good that he's genunely forgotten her size.

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  13. Little crazy and silly that he would forget her size, but it sets up tension and a possible conflict. Good six!

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    1. I kind of agree, but I needed to set the scene for some character development, and this seemed like the simplest solution. Thanks for stopping by!

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  14. LOVE! That he forgot her size is a wonderful testament to his character. That she won't forget it, tells just as much about her. I'm loving this scene even more.

    And congrats on the foals! So exciting.

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  15. I love how he forgets, because it obviously isn't something that matters to him-- hopefully she'll realize that, but it's telling that she's baffled-- it's not something that's easy for her to forget...

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  16. I've never seen foals - so exciting. and thanks for stopping by on my blogs - both of them lol and I'll have to catch up with your story here - got a lot out of the comments

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    1. They're pretty cute, I'll have to post some photos of the kids on my blog.

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  17. What did he do, suggest she just hop up on a 17 hand horse? I have lots of horses in my sf, and Coralie comes from a horse-breeding nomad culture, but there were no horses on the spaceship to wind um on the planet she's on. Mine were both geldings, but I remember one mare that held off foaling (in winter in Alaska) until her new stall was completed

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    1. I'm always amazed by how mares can control things during labor. One of the mares that just foaled prefers foal outside, which is why as soon as she starts showing signs of getting close we keep her stalled. Natures truly remarkable.

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  18. Aww, this is a difficult situation for both of them. Luke seems to view Grace as 'Grace' rather than "Grace that very small person" and has been pulled up short for speaking his mind about good farming practice. Grace presumably is sensitised to 'sizeist' comments so is perfectly within her rights to do the pulling up. Tough, poor dears.

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  19. I'm so glad I'm not the only one so busy! I love the sweetness of your story. I keep coming back to find the next few sentences again and again!

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    1. Awww, thank you so much for your frequent visits. I'm thrilled you like this story so much. It's very dear to me :)

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  20. Congrats on your new babies! So exciting!

    I love that Luke "forgot" about her size - that sounds almost like the most perfect thing he could have said (even if she doesn't realize it now). :)

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  21. That's a great question, but I agree with Lorraine - how awesome he doesn't *see* it! And CONGRATS on your foals! I guess we're even now, LOL. We had piglets and now you have foals!

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