Sunday, August 12, 2012

Six Sentance Sunday: fools and runts 14

Thanks for taking the time to read and help out with the snippets I keep posting every week. You've all been an amazing help. This week I had to use some creative whittling to make this snippet come to the correct word count. Thanks so much!

For those finding my blog for the first time, this is a clip from DWARFED, my YA manuscript featuring an adorable farm boy, Luke, and a high spirited, fun loving girl with dwarfism.

My phone vibrates, a text from Maggie about dinner, saves me from having to think of an response. “I have to go.”
“Uh, Grace.”                                       
            “Not now,” I tell him, “I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”
            “Grace, you might want to ...”
I take a step, a single step and my skirt jerks tight around my ankles, yanking my feet out from under me, and I plummet, face first, towards the nursery crate floor. 

Take the time to check out other six sentence Sunday participants at http://www.sixsunday.com/

54 comments:

  1. Oh, heavens. Talk about an ignominious exit, LOL! She keeps having one issue after another! Great six!!

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    1. That's how life seems to go. Thanks :)

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  2. Way to create a visual, Jess. Very cruel yet funny six, sort of a classic slapstick-y moment you created this week! Unexpected, in a really good way! :)

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    1. Thanks. This scene is so heavy, I felt it needed something to lighten it up. My goal is for DWARFED to be a fun read, though I do tend to lose that from time to time.

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  3. OMG...Love that unexpected twist. Great job with your six this week Jess!

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  4. Uh-oh, she should have listened. What delicious fun! Find Kristal Here

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  5. Ouch. That is an ignominious exit! I think the first sentence of the snippet would be better separated into two, but maybe that's just a result of your creative whittling to meet the six sentence limit. Good six!

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    1. I'm inclined to agree with you about the first sentence. In the manuscript I broke up this particular snippet a little differently. I just couldn't figure out how to fit everything into six sentences and have everything end the way I wanted it to. The six sentence limit can be a headache sometimes. Thanks!

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  6. Oops! Nothing worse than trying to make a dignified exit and falling flat on your face!

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    1. It seems to be the story of my own life, though I don't fall so much as walk face first into doorways. It seemed like a good way to lighten the scene after the drama of the earlier issues Grace and Luke dealt with.

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  7. Oh, you're not making it easy on her! Very nice six, Jess.

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    1. Kate, you and I both know that when it comes to characters, life's not supposed to be easy :)

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  8. Oh, poor thing! And he was only trying to warn her it sounds like!

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  9. Now who--or what--is standing on her skirt?

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  10. Oh, man, poor Grace. On the other hand, gives Luke a chance to be heroic. ;)

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  11. Catch her, Luke! Oh and he did try to warn her, too. You have two very sympathetic characters here.

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    1. I'm quite fond of both of them, which makes writing the writing fun.

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  12. I'd just suggest maybe saying "which saves me from..." in the first sentence, but I love the excerpt! I can picture all that happening as well as her probably red face. We've all had moments similar to this I think so we can really relate to her here. :)

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  13. Oh, man! Just her luck. I think that kind of thing has happened to every one of us at some point or another.

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  14. Oh no! (I actually gasped "Oh no!" out loud...so that should tell what a good job you did here. ;D)

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    1. LOL! Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it.

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  15. Owwwww! Poor Grace. I hope she recovers with her usual style. ;-)

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  16. Oh noooooo! lolol... Poor Grace. he tried...he tried. But in race style, she might just give him what-for over her tumble. :-) Nice, Jess. Paints a vivid picture--and good job taking the reader into her head. :-)

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    1. "But in Grace style"

      Ugh! I will replace this keyboard soon. :-)

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  17. lol poor thing. I have those moments too.

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  18. Great six, Jess. This reminded me of my mother. She excelled at shadow-tripping too ;-)

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  19. Whoa, hope she didn't hurt herself when she hit the ground. Very realistic though, and the readers will like it. Good six Jess!

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  20. Jess, your six made me laugh. Great job! I love it when a heroine thinks she's right and refuses to listen. Gets her every time.

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    1. Thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed it :)

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  21. Uh oh! I feel a little guilty for smiling. ;c) Although that's not the cleanest place to take a dive, LOL. (We raise piglets - they're cute, but they stink! *grin*) Fun six!

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    1. Don't feel guilty, I laughed when I wrote it. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

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  22. Yikes! She's going to feel a bit embarrassed, isn't she? Nice description, Jess! Fun six!
    Ryan

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  23. Uhoh, that is embarrassing! nice six!

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  24. WHAT!!!!!!! oh no!! Great six Jess!
    Hugs,
    A

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  25. Interesting premise for the story - I really felt sorry for her when she fell ...effective six!

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  26. Oh no!! That's *so* something I would do! :(

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