Sunday, September 23, 2012

Six Sentence Sunday

It's a brand new Sunday. I've decided to move onto a new scene from my YA manuscript, DWARFED. This scene takes place the next morning and one full chapter after the scene  posted all summer long. Thanks for taking the time to stop by and check it out.

            Luke leans against the battered nursery crate, his fingertips hooked in the pocket of his faded jeans, and staring down at the litter. He glances up as the door to the room clicks closed behind me. “Hey.”
His expression causes my stomach to cramp. My fingernails dig deep crescents into my palms.
            “What’s wrong?”


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29 comments:

  1. Uh-oh! I want to know what's wrong, too. Great six!

    I like your new header and layout! :)

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  2. Uh-oh! What IS wrong. Way to leave a girl hangin', LoL!! Great six!

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  3. Oh no! Is it the litter? Is it her? Is it something else completely? Dang *tiny* excerpts ;D

    Love the new look too. That is one heck of a great photo.

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    1. Thanks! One of the local farms in the area breeds elk and buffalo. The doe in the photo was extremely friendly.

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  4. Fab photo! What IS wrong? I'm worried to find out...

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  5. I want to know what's wrong. I'm tense and waiting... Good job!

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    1. Even though the reader in me knows how frustrating that can be, the writer portion of my brain is very pleased. Thanks Karen :)

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  6. I like how this ends with "What's wrong?" I'm just guessing that what's wrong is no little thing either.

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    1. Most likely not. Thanks for stopping by!

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  7. Fantastic page turning last line :-)

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  8. Who's speaking that last line? (Probably obvious in a longer excerpt.) Sound like there's a misunderstanding between them.

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    1. That's one of Grace's line. I'll have to reread the entire page and make sure that's clear. Thanks!

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  9. You pack a lot into very few words. I love your writing style.

    --Kimberly K. Comeau

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  10. Love the crescents image. Very nice six, Jess! BTW, you've got a typo in your title :)

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  11. Good questions make great hooks! Always heard that you shouldn't ask a question if you don't know the answer. Wonder if that's true here.

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  12. You redesigned your website! I like the fall look. :)

    As for the snippet...Dang it! You always make me sniffle. My heart is in my throat just like her's is! Terrific six, Jess.

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  13. Oh no. A thousand ideas run through my mind. Yes, what IS wrong? Jess, this is a very effective cliffhanger, the best kind. I hope we'll find out more next week. And I really really like your new profile pic. :)

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  14. You've described dejection perfectly. Nicely done, Jess. :)

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  15. I hope nothing's happened to the littlest piglet. Nothing that can't be sorted, especially.

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  16. Uh oh...Needing to ask, "What's wrong?" sounds like an ominous turn of events.
    ~Ryan

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  17. Well don't stop there! ARGH. I love how you show her anxiety. Excellent job!

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