Sunday, March 3, 2013

Aftermath-weWriWa Sunday Snippet

I'm joining an enormous group of extremely talented writers for Sunday Snippet and Weekend Writing Warriors. The rules for both groups are simple. Post a snippet from, in my case, work-in-progress. After posting, I get to read the snippets the other participants have posted.

Last week, the snippet I posted ended in the middle of a paragraph. This week I'm starting in the middle of the same paragraph.

Last week I had several first time visitors, or at least first  time commentators so I'm doing a short set up.

DWARFED is a YA manuscript featuring 16 year old Grace, who temporarily finds herself living on a working hog farm in Michigan, Luke Searc, who works for the farm, and Sp─ôs, a newborn piglet who needs a little extra care. Grace has a big heart and a stubborn nature. She also has a genetic condition called achondroplasia dwarfisam.

A collection of snippets from DWARFED can be found here. And now, this week's snippet.



His strong, calloused fingers wrap around my palm and wrist. He digs his heels into the ground and pulls me to my feet. “I guess she was worried about you.”

“It seems so,” I mutter.

I keep my head bent to hide my bright red cheeks as I take my new pig from him, and cuddle her against my chest. The solid feel of her weight against my heart doesn’t stop way stomach jumps around as I peer up at Luke through my eyelashes.

Had I really almost kissed him?



74 comments:

  1. "His strong, calloused fingers wrap around my palm and wrist."
    You had me with that line!
    Great 8!

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  2. I like the juxaposition of the pig and the emotion stirred by the nearness of Luke. Nice excerpt.

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  3. Yes, you did, and no it wasn't a mistake, put the adorable piggie down and . . . Ahem, sorry! :D

    I'll try to be patient . . .

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  4. Great descriptions on all levels.

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  5. I'm with Sarah! You almost kissed him for a reason, Grace. Don't fight your instincts! ;-) Great eight as always.

    ~Joyce Scarbrough

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    1. :) I agree with you, but Grace has some issues.

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  6. You capture each and every moment so very well. I love this story!

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  7. Every time I visit and read a snippet of this story, I think, 'I LOVE this story.'

    Lol @ Sarah W. Her comment nailed it.

    Wonderful post, Jess! :-)

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  8. Aww, that's a cute excerpt and pic!

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  9. Loving following DWARFED every week :-)

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  10. What a great snippet! Also loved the pic of the piglet. Excellent work!

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  11. I really liked the very first two lines, so descriptive, the way he dug his heels in to pull her to her feet. It put me right in the moment. Can't wait to read more.

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    1. I'm glad you enjoyed it, especially since I struggled to make those two sentences worked. It took several tries before they stopped feeling clunky.

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  12. Great emotion in this excerpt. You always do a terrific job of that.

    You also find the cutest darn piglet pictures on the internet. ;D

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    1. Pininterest is awesome for pics, at least until I convince someone to let me set up a pig pen of my own. Of all the pictures I've found so far, this week's is my favorite. I'm 90% sure that it's a teacup piglet.

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  13. Fantastic snippet, and great picture too. I just love the piggy pics!

    Missing some words here: "The solid feel of her weight against my heart doesn't stop (the) way (my) stomach jumps."

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    1. Whoops. Typos get me everytime. Thanks!

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  14. Wonderful emotion in this snippet! There's few words missing, but it looks like Kate stated it. :)

    I always love your photos, too. :)

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  15. Every time I come here I find myself invested in the world you create and the thoroughly likeable characters.

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  16. I hope she goes with her feelings about Luke! Very enjoyable snippet and such a sweet photo. :-)

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  17. That frustrating feeling of the just missed kiss! Really enjoyed the excerpt as always and the piglet is CUTE.

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    1. I know, but it's a great literary device. Thanks for stopping by :)

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  18. Wonderful excerpt and adorable picture! : ) She should have kissed him.

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    1. I agree, but it wasn't in the cards ... yet.

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  19. I love the affect he's having on her and that piglet is so cute!

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  20. I liked this so much I missed seeing the missed words :-) Lovely, very teen girlish.

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    1. I'm not happy that my snippet had typos, but I'm glad you were so engaged you missed them. Thanks!

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  21. I never read your excerpts and just think "oh that was nice" - I always get wrapped up in whatever new bit you reveal and am disappointed to find the excerpt is so short! And then you zing me with another "awwwwww" photo - geez, you're ruthless, Jess :D :D

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    1. You're so sweet. Now, all I have to do is convince an agent to think the same way. Thanks!

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  22. I loved the emotion and the chagrin. Nicely done, Jess. :)

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  23. Ahh, the almost kiss. Very strong emotion and maybe she should go for it. Very beautifully done. :-)

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    1. Thank you. I'm not sure which is harder. Writing the first kiss or writing the near kiss.

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  24. Lovely excerpt. Wanting to kiss but not doing it is a terrific feeling

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  25. Now she's wondering if the opportunity will ever come again. I just remembered I almost kissed a boy once, but chickened out. A new chance never presented itself

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    1. Hmm, I didn't think about it from that angle, but you just gave me a great idea for another project I'm working on. Thanks!

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  26. Loved it, and the picture is perfect.

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  27. I love these scenes with the baby pig!

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    1. They're my favorite ones to write. I wish I could keep the characters in the pig pen all the time.

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  28. Sweet, evocative and when he wrapped his hand around her wrist, sexy. Love this, Jess!

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  29. I love the setting to this story. The missed kiss always makes you wonder, doesn't it? I hope she gets another chance.And the piglet pictures are so cute. :)

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  30. Yay! They finally almost kissed! Now if we can just get a snippet where they actually kiss. I feel like I've been through a lot with them!

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    1. I'm amazed by how posting everything in short little snippets makes scenes seem so much longer than they actually are. Thanks for stopping by.

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  31. I love the piglet. I want him and then, when he gets big, I want someone to take him away. Thanks for the snippet.

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  32. Awww...cute pic! I think you shared her feelings perfectly! Great snippet! :)

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  33. Very nice emotion coming through here, Jess. Well done.

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  34. Aww, you always have the cutest pig pictures with your snippets. Very sweet excerpt.

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  35. I've just realized that I should've said before that I like how you accompany your snippets with images - a nice touch. I also like the almost romantic moment between them.

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    1. Thank you Frank. When I started writing DWARFED, those bits weren't supposed to happen. It was going to be literary fiction that was all. Several rewrites and long conversations with the characters later I gave up and added more romance. Looking back, I'm glad I did.

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  36. I love her reaction and the way you describe it. I also loved the physical description of Luke helping her up.

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  37. Gorgeous - and the pig is really cute too!

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  38. I have a feeling little miss piggy is going to get smack dab in the middle of their kiss. Cute!!!

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  39. Definitely a ka-yute little piggy! Thanks for sharing! :)

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  40. I love your snippets, you capture emotions so beautifully!

    Dani-Lyn Alexander

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  41. How cute! The piglet's either worried, or jealous. :)

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