When I decided to use this scene for a
collection of Six Sentence Sunday posts, I chose it because I liked it, and I
thought it did a nice job of showing off Luke and Grace's personalities, their
relationship, and helping to establish a plot. What I didn't think about was
how long the scene was. Dividing it into six sentence chunks makes it feel like
it goes on and on.
My apologies to anyone who may be
growing bored with it.
This week's six picks up right where
last week's left off.
“It seems like, no matter how hard we
try, a broken heart’s the only thing anyone gets when it comes to taking care
of runts. They end up being a waste of time and effort.”
I feel like someone has taken a rusty sword and used it to hack away at my
heart, leaving it a bloody mess of damaged tissue. Just a few words, yet they
reveal so much truth. My fingernails dig tiny crescents into my palms as I fist
my hands to hide the way they shake as I force myself to look at Luke’s face.
“A waste of time and effort?”
Grace's reaction will make more sense
if I tell you that Grace has a genetic condition known as achondroplasia, a
form of dwarfism. You can learn a little bit more about Grace here.
Thanks in advance for any comments and
criticisms you might have regrading my post. I truly do appreciate them and
consider every single one of suggestions. Thanks!
Six Sentence Sunday is a blogging event that happens every week. A list of the participating authors can be found at http://www.sixsunday.com/
Six Sentence Sunday is a blogging event that happens every week. A list of the participating authors can be found at http://www.sixsunday.com/
Oh oh, she's going to blow! Well described!
ReplyDeleteI was going to say...it actually is becoming very clear with this new snippet that she's taking the "runt" thing more personally than one would who is ONLY interested in the welfare of the piglets. Great six, and her reaction actually tugs on my heartstrings (even before I read your explanation). I agree with Gemma,though, sounds like her knee-jerk reaction to having her feelings hurt is to strike back. Well done. =D
ReplyDeletePersonally I've never cared for characters who seem to internalize everything, I wanted something more for Grace. I'm glad you enjoyed it!
DeleteNooo, no time spent caring for an animal is wasted time and effort! Great job of showing how she identifies with the "runt."
ReplyDeleteI agree, but I have also worked with livestock long enough to know that no matter how much I might wish otherwise, not all sick animals can be saved. Some are just too sick, and too far gone to make it, no matter how much effort, time, and money their human caretakers invest. Luke's attitude is one most farm kids adapt to help protect their emotions. I have a hunch it's also why so many people who aren't connected to the agriculture mistakenly believe that farmers and ranchers don't love the livestock they raise. Luke's words, while misguided, are an attempt to help protect Grace from loosing her heart to a pig that Luke suspects will die.
DeleteOuch, can see why his words are hiting her so hard.
ReplyDeleteI have a feeling Luke's real intent with not caring for runts will be revealed in an emotional scene. Good job!
ReplyDeleteLuke? You'd best get ready to dodge, mate. I reckon something's about to be thrown at you.
ReplyDeleteYou've described Grace's emotions brilliantly, well done!
Ah that explains a lot! Brilliant. Knowing about her condition adds so much more edge to Grace's reactions and Luke's choice of words.
ReplyDeleteI thought having the information might help. Thanks!
DeleteWonderful job, Jess. With the info and trivia you gave on Grace's background and this week's six, I think I do understand her. I think Luke has the makings of a "Victorian" love interest, at least I can never decide if what he's saying is heedlessness or if there's more to it than that. I had a similar feeling with Jane Eyre's Mr. Rochester :))
ReplyDeleteWow! That's quite a comparison, thank you!
DeleteFantastic six! My golden was a runt, best friend for 18 years :) I'm looking forward to reading this book!!
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you're little guy has done so well :)
DeleteClearly, he's struck a deeply seated chord in Grace. Powerful conflict ahead, I predict!
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure about powerful, but there will be some conflict as well as some self-revelation.
DeleteOh boy has he just opened up a major can of worms! Hope Grace let's him have it after that line! Great six, Jess!
ReplyDeleteThanks Kate!
DeleteAw, this goes straight to the heart. Touching six. (And I need to do some catching up. I've been behind for weeks! I'll read through a few in the upcoming days to make sure I'm caught up.)
ReplyDeleteThank you Sarah :)
DeleteI love this, Jess: “It seems like, no matter how hard we try, a broken heart’s the only thing anyone gets when it comes to taking care of runts..."
ReplyDeleteI don't find anything boring at all about your choice for SSS. I think its so neat, returning to the same story, same scene, weekly! :-)
Wow ;)You can tell how passionate she is!!! Great six :)
ReplyDeleteGreat six, Jess! I love how you've had her connect so strongly with the runt because of her own experience.
ReplyDeleteAnd, I did part of a scene on SSS not long ago too... it does feel like a long time to the person posting, but I like the continuity from the reading side of things. :)
Great six, Jess! As I said on your FB page, this is compelling and she's a strong and unique heroine.
ReplyDelete~Ryan Derham
You do a great job of showing her tension by describing the action instead of telling. That's hard to do, sometimes, in 1st POV. And by doing so, I can just hear her voice in my head. Well done.
ReplyDelete