Sunday, July 22, 2012

Six Sentence Sunday: Fools and Runts 11

I don't know about the rest of you, but July seems to be one wildly busy week after another, which is why I'm still in the process of responding to comment made on the SSS snippet I posted last week. Being busy is good, but I'm ready for things to slow down a bit.

This weeks snippet is from my YA manuscript, DWARFED. It picks up where last week's snippet ended. It's also the part where Grace and I are the most alike. We both have a well honed forgive but never forget attitude.

             I want to make him squirm, he should have to pay for using that ugly word and making me bleed, as far as I’m concerned, in matters of revenge, figurative blood is every bit as satisfying as the real deal.
            Still, he looks like he genuinely regrets his first words, and what he’d just said might be one of the sweetest things I’ve ever heard, being compared to moonlight is flattering, almost Shakespearean, though Luke lacked the bard’s styles, and I’ve never been vengeful.
“I suppose,” I say slowly, choosing my words with care, “you just experienced this was one of those open mouth and insert foot kind of moments that people are always talking about.”
            Luke’s mouth quirks into a small smile.
            “I've had a few moments like that,” I continue, “I guess you’re allowed to have one or two as well.” No sooner were the words out of my mouth when I start feeling the ragged edges of my soul starting to knit together.
            Luke studies my face.

You're thoughts and opinons are always appreciated. I adore feedback when it comes to my writing. Thanks

Check out the other amazing writers participating in Six Sentence Sunday right here.

47 comments:

  1. Oh, goodie. It looks like there's hope for Luke yet. Great six!!

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    1. :) He's a good guy, but has some rough edges.

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  2. Open mouth, insert foot, I like that saying :) Over these last few months you did a great job in slowly "humanizing" Luke. I remember some weeks ago, when I started reading your excerpts, I really didn't like him that much, but now I can even sympathize with him. You made that happen, very nice! :)

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  3. Maybe things don't have to be so tense between them. Nice six! :)

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  4. Aw! What a great moment between them. :)

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    1. They're starting to figure out the whole communication thing :)

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  5. Aw, I like this, especially how forgiving him "makes the ragged edges of her soul knit together." I can relate. Great six!

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  6. This is just so sweet! I absolutely love it. Great six.

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    1. Thank you! I've always like these lines.

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  7. Aww, such a sweet moment shared between them! Beautiful six.

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  8. Sounds like she is taking the upper hand! Good for her :)

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  9. You've got me feeling bad for both of them. I think you should split the first sentence into two, with the second sentence starting at "As far as I'm concerned..."

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    1. Thanks for the advice, I kept going back and forth on what to do with that line. A second opinon is always helpful!

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  10. I like his willingness to take her retort and her acceptance of his apology, leading to her own healing. Nicely done, Jess. :)

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  11. "...the ragged edges of my soul starting to knit together." That's beautiful.

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  12. That last sentence--forgiveness does that.

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    1. I'm not sure that she's completely forgiven him, but at least she's working towards it. Thanks!

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  13. Apologizing and accepting can be painful for both parties. Well done here.

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    1. It can be one of the hardest things in the world. Thanks!

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  14. Aw, I love that she experiences healing with forgiveness. This is a lovely six, Jess.

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    1. Thank you, Monica! I'm pleased with how it turned out.

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  15. Great six, showing both of them starting to understand the other,

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  16. Awe, those two are so meant for each other. And it sure is fun watching them try to figure that out!

    Great six, Jess! :-)

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  17. soul starting to knit together...so beautiful!!

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  18. She thinks a lot, huh? Analyses herself. Reminds me of me. Love the soul starting to knit together.

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    1. She's a smart and self aware girl. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Thanks!

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  19. I like the dialogue between Luke and Grace. It shows their characteristics nicely. Good six!

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  20. Relationships can be so daunting! Love the dialogue exchange.

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  21. I'm right there with you on this busy month! So hard not to let the balls drop. I can't wait for this story! I know my YA will be receiving it for sure ;)
    Hugs,
    A

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    1. I really shouldn't complain, it has been a fun month, but I'm looking forward to, hopefully, having some time to breathe in August.

      Thanks for stopping by.

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  22. Great imagery and dialogue exchange!

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  23. Oh that's lovely - "the raghged edges of her soul" is a beautiful idea.

    I think there's either a typo or extra words in this sentence - “I suppose,” I say slowly, choosing my words with care, “you just experienced this was one of those open mouth and insert foot kind of moments that people are always talking about.” Maybe take out the "this was"?

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