Sunday, July 29, 2012

Six Sentence Sunday: Fools and Runts 12


This week’s snippet from my young adult WIP, DWARFED, picks up right were last week’s left off. Even though this collection of sentences simply creates a transition point in this scene, I’m quite fond of them. Plus, it gave me an excuse to look at piglet pictures, something I always enjoy :) You can check out the snippets created by some truly gifted authors here.

             “Thanks,” he finally says.
I tuck my hand into my skirt pocket and finger the touch worn coins, listening to them clang together, the sound catching the attention of the piglets. Moving in one giant glob of flesh, they skulk towards me with the same speed a knight would use when sidling up on a sleeping dragon. I lower myself into a crouch, the change in position causing the piglets eyes to widen, but they continue forward.
Holding my breath, I lightly scrape a fingernail across one thing back. The piglet’s chocolate chip eyes roll back in its skull as its entire body quivers and quakes in porcine ecstasy.  
“I never would have guessed that baby piglets would be so cute and cuddly.”

 Tumblr_lrf2uco7t11qazlt2o1_500_large

One look at you and I was through, my heart switched up on me. -The Band Perry







40 comments:

  1. That's just a transition? It's achingly beautiful, evocative and vivid.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm very proud of how it turned out. Thank you.

      Delete
  2. Wow, Jess, wonderful! Such appealing visuals and associations you have in this one. I love these idyllic impressions of animal life with just a little pinch of sentimentality. It made me think of "Heimatfilm", but much more interesting. :)

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heimatfilm

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I just checked out the link. It was very interesting. Thanks

      Delete
  3. You really painted a picture in my head with your descriptions...nicely done!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Excellent description! Great post.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Lovely scene, I could just imagine it.

    ReplyDelete
  6. You've really shown the cuteness here, well done!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Cute piggies (both in the story and in the pic!) This is such a touching, sweet scene. Great six!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, I miss the days when I used to raise pigs. Good times!

      Delete
  8. She cares so much for these piglets that is obvious, and I can see why! Nothing cuter!

    ReplyDelete
  9. I agree with K.E. Very sweet scene.

    (FYI, you've got a few typos that made me stumble: touch-worn, piglets' eyes, thin(?) back.) I hope you don't mind that I noted them.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I love it when people point out typos, style issues, and make other criticisms. I really do. I tend to trust (and learn more) from those than the complements. Thanks so much Monica :)

      Delete
  10. Your sensory details and descriptions are breathtaking!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you! By the way, you have the most stunning profile picture. I love it!

      Delete
  11. Now I want to cuddle a little piggy!

    ReplyDelete
  12. I love how I can just picture everything in just 6 sentences each Sunday! Great job!
    Hugs,
    A

    ReplyDelete
  13. I'm really enjoying the weekly installments of this story.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks! I've really enjoyed posting them, SSS has been more fun than I ever imagined.

      Delete
  14. Nice six, Jess. Looks like they are going to make peace. ;-) I love the descriptions. The touch-worn coins... very nice.

    And, I am so grateful for your feedback on my six this week. Thanks so much :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Teresa. I really like the direction that your story is going. I'm looking forward to reading more.

      Delete
  15. I've held a piglet before. Your story transported me to that time. What a great picture trip you wrote. Thanks.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Very clear and vivid. I like it. :)

    ReplyDelete
  17. Really drew me in with the evocative description. Great six Jess!
    Ryan

    ReplyDelete
  18. It's had to find a baby animal that isn't cure, but piglets certainly are. But shouldn't that be "thing's"?

    ReplyDelete