Sunday, July 29, 2012

Six Sentence Sunday: Fools and Runts 12


This week’s snippet from my young adult WIP, DWARFED, picks up right were last week’s left off. Even though this collection of sentences simply creates a transition point in this scene, I’m quite fond of them. Plus, it gave me an excuse to look at piglet pictures, something I always enjoy :) You can check out the snippets created by some truly gifted authors here.

             “Thanks,” he finally says.
I tuck my hand into my skirt pocket and finger the touch worn coins, listening to them clang together, the sound catching the attention of the piglets. Moving in one giant glob of flesh, they skulk towards me with the same speed a knight would use when sidling up on a sleeping dragon. I lower myself into a crouch, the change in position causing the piglets eyes to widen, but they continue forward.
Holding my breath, I lightly scrape a fingernail across one thing back. The piglet’s chocolate chip eyes roll back in its skull as its entire body quivers and quakes in porcine ecstasy.  
“I never would have guessed that baby piglets would be so cute and cuddly.”

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One look at you and I was through, my heart switched up on me. -The Band Perry







33 comments:

  1. That's just a transition? It's achingly beautiful, evocative and vivid.

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    1. I'm very proud of how it turned out. Thank you.

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  2. Wow, Jess, wonderful! Such appealing visuals and associations you have in this one. I love these idyllic impressions of animal life with just a little pinch of sentimentality. It made me think of "Heimatfilm", but much more interesting. :)

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heimatfilm

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    1. I just checked out the link. It was very interesting. Thanks

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  3. You really painted a picture in my head with your descriptions...nicely done!

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  4. Excellent description! Great post.

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  5. Lovely scene, I could just imagine it.

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  6. You've really shown the cuteness here, well done!

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  7. Cute piggies (both in the story and in the pic!) This is such a touching, sweet scene. Great six!

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    1. Thanks, I miss the days when I used to raise pigs. Good times!

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  8. She cares so much for these piglets that is obvious, and I can see why! Nothing cuter!

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  9. I agree with K.E. Very sweet scene.

    (FYI, you've got a few typos that made me stumble: touch-worn, piglets' eyes, thin(?) back.) I hope you don't mind that I noted them.

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    1. I love it when people point out typos, style issues, and make other criticisms. I really do. I tend to trust (and learn more) from those than the complements. Thanks so much Monica :)

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  10. Your sensory details and descriptions are breathtaking!

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    1. Thank you! By the way, you have the most stunning profile picture. I love it!

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  11. Now I want to cuddle a little piggy!

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  12. I love how I can just picture everything in just 6 sentences each Sunday! Great job!
    Hugs,
    A

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  13. I'm really enjoying the weekly installments of this story.

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    1. Thanks! I've really enjoyed posting them, SSS has been more fun than I ever imagined.

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  14. Nice six, Jess. Looks like they are going to make peace. ;-) I love the descriptions. The touch-worn coins... very nice.

    And, I am so grateful for your feedback on my six this week. Thanks so much :-)

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    1. Thanks Teresa. I really like the direction that your story is going. I'm looking forward to reading more.

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  15. I've held a piglet before. Your story transported me to that time. What a great picture trip you wrote. Thanks.

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  16. Very clear and vivid. I like it. :)

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  17. Really drew me in with the evocative description. Great six Jess!
    Ryan

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  18. It's had to find a baby animal that isn't cure, but piglets certainly are. But shouldn't that be "thing's"?

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