Sunday, July 8, 2012

Six Sentence Sunday: Fools and Runts 9

It's Sunday again, which means it's Six Sentence Sunday! I can't believe it's the second week Sunday of July already. I hope everyone made it through both the American and Canadian celebrations.

You guys were very insightful when it came to Grace and Luke last week. I was very impressed. This week's snippet picks up where last week's ended. The first sentence was actually the last line in Grace's dialogue. If you didn't get a chance to read it, you can check it out right here.


            "I'm 4’4”.
            Luke tugs his ball cap off, runs his fingers through his thick hair, before settling the cap back on his head. “There’s something about you,” he says thoughtfully, “that in a weird kind of way reminds me of Etna.”
             “I remind you of Aunt Etna,” I squeak.
            “The two of you have so much personality it shadows everything else. Etna is like this really big slow moving storm cloud that blots out the sun for hours, you know, the kind that turns the air green and you just know the storm is going to rage for hours, shredding everything that crosses its path. You remind me off … moonlight.”


Any and all comments/criticisams will be appriciated.

You should check out the other participants great samples this week, you'll be glad you did. The links leading to their blogs can be found at the official Six Sentence Sunday website.

43 comments:

  1. Oh...OH.. I'd like to hear his explanation for that - moonlight. That's a really romantic sentiment you convey, and so unexpected, a nice surprise there at the end. I love it!

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    1. I'd completely forgotten I'd even written the bit about the moonlight until I was getting this week's snippet ready to go. I'm glad you liked it.

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  2. Awe, moonlight. My first thought is , how romantic. Hmmm...but then again, this IS Luke we're considering here. He has such a way of blundering into saying less than nice things without even realizing it.

    Nice six, Jess! I second Daniela-- I love it too!

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    1. Luke's a teenage boy, I figure he's allowed a few blunders. I did have a hard time wrestling with the tempation to post the rest of his explanation. He's a little rough around the edges, but overall a sweet kid.

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  3. Okay, good save. LOL! Aunt Etna... Love it!

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    1. My sisters created her a few years ago. She's quite a character.

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  4. Well, I think moonlight is a better comparison. Nice six! :)

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  5. Moonlight? Ooh! That's a nice thing to be compared to!

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    1. I've always felt a strong connection to the moon. Thanks for stopping by!

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  6. What a beautiful compliment. Evocative six.

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  7. Wow, he is very gifted at descriptions!

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  8. LOL! Kind of difficult to tell if that's a compliment or not. I'm thinking yes; she's a firecracker. Gotta love a guy who speaks his mind.

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    1. I tend to think so, though I tend to appreciate the trait more when their thoughts jive with my own. Thanks for stopping by!

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  9. Another great six! I look forward to seeing more of your story each week. :)

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  10. LOL, when I saw Etna I assumed she was named for the volcano so the name works on 2 levels. Nice choice. Grace and moonlight - cool and gentle - yes, that works too.

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    1. I'm a huge fan of names, and tend to obsesses about whether or not they influence a person's personality. Thanks!

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  11. I can't wait to hear his explanation of how she's like moonlight. Good six!

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  12. What a romantic thing for him to say! (And Aunt Etna sounds formidable, to say the least.) I could just see Grace's hackles rising even higher when he told her she reminded him of the woman. But I'll bet he redeemed himself with that last line. Great six!! =D

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    1. I'm so excited that Grace's personality has come across so strongly in these snippets. Now I just have to hope that the rest is true for the rest of manuscript. Thanks for your kind words!

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  13. Given how pissed off she already is, I bet she finds a way to take the moonlight as an insult.

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    1. Grace doesn't really hold a grudge, but she doesn't forget much either.

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  14. Aunt Etna = Mount Etna perhaps? Comparison to a volcano? Sounds about right. Great description here, Jess.

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    1. My sisters created Etna, based on a town they managed to get stranded in. In my story I decided she was named after the volcano. Someday I'd love to visit it, the pictures I've seen are amazing.

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  15. Moonlight... cold? I bet there's a way to take that the wrong way. Still, at least he's trying!

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    1. Hmm, I've never thought about the moon and cold in the same sentence. You might have just given me an idea I can use later. Thanks!

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  16. I have a feeling he may have weasled his way out of something there. lol. Describing a woman as and oncoming storm about to rage, however accurate, is a bad idea boy. ;) The moonlight comment was a good cover, kiddo.

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  17. I can relate. Someone described me (under 5') as samll in stature and large in personality. Maybe that's true of your character as well...

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    1. You hit the nail on the head. She's a pretty amazing person, but has kind of lost sight of that.

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  18. I wasn't sure where he was going with his reply but I like how he ended it!

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  19. Love their interaction here--first her mortification of being compared to Aunt Etna and then his sweet, and beautiful explanation :)

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  20. Interesting. I liked the way he described the two very different women. Excellent excerpt!

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  21. Oooh, he saved himself a heap of trouble right there. Good save with the moonlight comment. :) Fun six, Jess.

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  22. Great use of the detail about the green sky. It gives you a sense of setting (tornado country I imagine). The moonlight is a super cute detail.

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