Friday, August 24, 2012

Friday Fictioneers: 8/24/12


I wasn’t going to participate this week, but Maggie Duncan's picture prompt was so pretty I just had to write something. It’s not exactly a short story, but I think it’s a pretty piece. To read some really impressive bits of micro-fiction check out the official list of this week’s participants.

The fog stole his breath. It was amazing how it could turn something as mundane as the sheep pasture into a place that felt like the setting for a fairytale. He drank it in, letting the beauty consume him until a faint sound captured his attention. Nerves skittered and his stomach churned as he picked up the musket he’d propped against the trunk of the Maple tree. He was aware of his comrades moving to stand by his side, their eyes straining to see what was coming towards them. He raised his hand, soundlessly singling them to charge, to meet their attackers, and wondered how many foggy mornings he had in his future.

22 comments:

  1. Nice story, he is pondering his mortality and I can see...charging into the fog, the great unknown.

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  2. I was struck by how the fog was as dangerous as it was beautiful, hiding what was coming.

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  3. Very nice use of the prompt, and considering it was taken in the Shenandoah Valley of Virginia, it's an apt story. Good job.

    Here's mine: http://unexpectedpaths.com/friday-fictioneers/pillar-of-salt/

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    1. It's a lovely shot! Thanks for sharing it!

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  4. A nice mixture of wonder and tension.
    Mine's here:
    http://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com/2012/08/22/escape/

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  5. I instantly thought of the revolutionary war and it was captured nicely here.
    My offering this week can be found at yaralwrites.com

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  6. oooh, this brought forth so many images in my mind. First, just a man observing nature. Totally peaceful. Then with the mention of the musket I got that ominous foreboding until finally we understand he's at war.

    Great job with so few words

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  7. I like the way you concentrated on him and then expand the story. What a lovely twist! Very suspenseful! Great Fiction!
    Mine is here
    Blessed be.
    hugs
    shakira

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  8. nice, wondered who he was expecting...

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  9. At least he had a wondrous, spiritual view as he thought of the view for a spit of a moment before his 'nerves skittered' and he was forced to face his ugly reality. Liked this. Here's mine: www.triplemoonstar.blogspot.com

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  10. Nicely done. It had a kind of civil war feeling about it for me.

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    1. Interesting, the picture reminded me of the trip my high school band took to Gettysburg. Thanks for stopping by :)

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  11. I loved the intro. With the right atmosphere, anywhere can be transformed into the setting for a fairytale.

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  12. Loved this. You created a great atmosphere, hope he had lots more foggy mornings to come

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  13. Nice! You've created an evocative scene. I was amused to see "sheep pasture" described as mundane -- I think of it as anything but mundane, but maybe because I grew up in an urban jungle.

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    1. LOL! It's all a matter of perspective. I grew up on a farm and develop a twitch whenever I even think about sheep. Thanks :)

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