Sunday, August 5, 2012

Six Sentence Sunday: Fools and Runts 13

I can always tell it's Sunday because for some reason, that's the day my internet starts acting wonky. 

I jumped ahead a few sentences, but this weeks six sentence snippet is still from the same scene of my YA WIP, DWARFED. 

Thank you so much for your great comments week after week, they've really helped me grow and develop as a writer. 

More great snippets from participating writers can be found at the offical website.

                Luke’s hazel eyes meet mine. “I’m sorry Grace, I know you don’t want to hear this, but the odds aren’t in that piglet’s favor, you shouldn’t get attached, at least not until we know if it has any health problems besides being smaller than its mates.”
                Looking down at the piglet nestled on my lap, I can’t stop the memory of the hushed way my parent’s talk about the breathing issues I had as a baby, the couple of surgeries I’d had when I was younger, and the very real possibility that I was going to need more work done in the future, something I wasn’t looking forward to. The last time I’d been in the hospital, I’d met another dwarf, a boy a couple of years younger than me, who’d already been through nearly twenty extensive surgeries. Considering how much work it took a team of really well trained medical professionals to keep us, just two dwarfs alive and healthy, Luke’s concern kind of made sense.
                But that didn’t mean I had to like it.

33 comments:

  1. Very heart-felt six...loved the internals.

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  2. Lots of emotion; you really show what's going on inside her. Great six.

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  3. Awe, that really gets you right in the feeler. Good six.

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  4. I love how you've connected her emotionally with that piglet; we're learning so much about Grace with the snippets from this scene.

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    1. Thanks Monica, I've been really pleased with how this scene came together. Now, I'm hoping the rest of the story works just a well.

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  5. Jess, this is great. I've missed earlier excerpts but I'm pulled right into this one with the way Grace falls for that piglet. You have got an extraneous apostrophe in "parent's"; sorry, stuff like that pops for me. I'll be back to see where this goes!

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    1. Thank you, I'm really glad you enjoyed it. Also thank you for pointing out the apostrophe. I'm always amazed by the number of typos I manage to make.

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  6. I love her empathy and emotional connection to the piglet. Great six!

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  7. I'm really liking this spunky character and her connection to the runt piglet. Great six!

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    1. Thanks Ann, I'm glad you enjoyed it!

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  8. Grace is sweet. I love how she relates to the piglet.

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  9. Love how she relates to the piglet

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  10. Jess, this is so wonderful. I don't know where you got the idea to have a dwarf MC and a runt piglet drawing a parallel, but it's really working! Excellent six :-)

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    1. I wish I could tell you that I planned the parallel, but it just happened, mostly because I love pigs and I decide that Grace needed a pet to use in her magic show. I'm glad you liked it. That means a lot.

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  11. This is such a poignant entry. It immediately brought to mind a book that made ME feel like I *wasn't the only one* when I was 10 or 11 years old (dating myself, I'm sure, here, LOL ;D), titled The Noonday Friends. Such great emotion here. Lovely six!

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    1. I know what you mean. Lucy Pevensie from the Narnia chronicles was the first time I'd ever read a book where I felt an immediate connection with a character. I've never heard of Noonday Friends. I'll have to check it out.

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  12. This works perfectly on several levels. There's the parallel you draw between the two very different creatures, both smaller than what is considered to be the norm. Also there's the difference between Grace's identification with the small piglet and Luke's gently expressed pragmatism as a farmer. He's trying hard now, bless him.

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    1. When I started writing this, I didn't think agriculture, and the way it affects the people in the field would play such a huge part in the story. But, I'm glad it has. Folks who devote themselves to raising livestock are special folks who have a different view of the world. I wouldn't have it any other way.

      I'm very glad you like and get it. Thanks!

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  13. I love how Grace identifies with the piglet. Great six!

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  14. Oh wow, how special! I agree, I love how Grace feels such a pull toward the little piglet. So sweet! Can't wait to keep reading...
    Hugs,
    A

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  15. Not much to add that others haven't already -- the parallel drawn between your character and the animals is wonderful. Very nicely done.

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  16. I'm attached to the little piglet too! Love Gracie :) amazing six...

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  17. Extraordinary emotion here, Jess. You really explore the situation well and make it very credible and absorbing.
    ~Ryan

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  18. Wow. You really bring the harsh reality here in such a simple, profound way.

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