Sunday, October 21, 2012

10/21/12 Six Sentence Sunday and #OctMadWrite

I humbly apologize if I failed to make it to your blog last SSS to read your snippet. Last Sunday I was unexpectedly slammed with work, and stayed busy throughout the rest of the week. 

I'm combining two posts into 1 today, my Six Sentence Sunday Snippet, and my results for Saturday's #OctMadWrite challenge.

Now on to my Six Sentence Sunday snippet. Once again, I'm posting from my YA manuscript, DWARFED, which is so titled because the main character, Grace, is a spunky girl with achondroplasia, a type of dwarfism, who's trying to adjust to life on a Midwestern hog farm. This week's snippet picks up where last week's dropped off. I do apologize, it ends in the middle of a paragraph. You can enjoy more snippets from the great collection of writers participating in this week's blog post visit the official Six Sentence Sunday sign up sheet.


“If,” I don’t like the way Luke emphasizes the word, “she’s not getting enough colostrum, we can bottle feed her, and hope we get enough into her to get her weight up to where it should be. If it’s something more serious … we’ll just have to wait and see. Mostly, it’s up to the pig whether or not she lives.”
            I can’t stop staring at the thin piglet. She’s so small, so thin, and even though she’s in a pen with her litter mates she seems alone, like she’s fighting the whole world. My thoughts wander form the piglet to my parents. 

Now my results for Saturday's OctMadWrite competition. I was able to scratch out 2672 words for Foolish Beauty. For the #6 Challenge my goals for the rest of the year include:
  • finish editing DWARFED
  • Reach 20,000 words for Foolish Beauty
  • Bang out a first draft of Fatal Destiny during NaNoWriMo



39 comments:

  1. "If" can be such a big word for only two letters. You also reminded me of just how lonely it can be even in the middle of a crowded room.
    You covered so much in just six sentences. Nice job.

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    1. You're right about if being a big word, and it's one that's seems get used a lot in the agriculture world. Thank you :)

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  2. Wonderful excerpt. Also like the story premise. :)

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  3. Ohhhh, that's so sad. She's definitely drawing comparisons. This one really tugs at the ol' heartstrings. I sure hope the little piglet lives. Great six (again!) (btw--"can bottle 'feed' her", not 'feeding').

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  4. It's so true that the runts often go off on their own or are pushed away from their mothers. Great to include that detail. Nice six!

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  5. She really identifies with the poor little piglet. Sad and yet beautiful too.

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  6. Your snippets always make me feel like I'm back on the farm. Great six!

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    1. That's what I'm shooting for. Thanks for stopping by :)

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  7. I think for a moment she is in the piglet's place. Great illustration of the emotions and the overall scene.

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  8. I hope the piglet lives. Emotional six!

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  9. Such an emotional scene. I just love this little piglet and it's so sad but I hope she makes it. Sometimes runts end up being the best. :-)

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  10. Works as an emotional segue to thoughts of her parents. I think Grace is forming a bond with that piglet. Now I'm really wondering how it works out!

    Might I make a couple suggestions? This part "we can bottle feeding her, and hope we get enough into her to get her weight up to where it should be" ought to read "we can bottle feed her" I think. And there's something about the two "get"s that seems slightly less polished than the rest of the snippet.

    Maybe just drop the "hope we get enough into her" part? I really hesitate to critique dialogue but that stuck out to me. I like your style and your characters are definitely memorable.

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  11. This continues to impress. Poor Grace. this is a really tough introduction to the apparent brutalities of animal husbandry.

    Love your pictures too. That's an annoyed little Tamworth, assumming it's not 'shopped.

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  12. Pig in boots. That's so adorable. And your sentences are wonderful, too.

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  13. Ah, I feel sorry for this piglet. You have such a way with conveying so much emotion in few sentences. LOVE that piggy photo!

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  14. Love how you've connected Grace and the little piglet. So much emotion so well conveyed.

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  15. Another heartrending six there, and another adorable photo too.

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    1. Thanks, I'm fairly certain the piglet in this picture is a potbellied pig, rather than a farm pig, but it's so adorable, I just don't care.

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  16. OK, darling photo there! Enjoyed the snippet, I'm hoping the piglet fights successfully to live...can't wait for more!

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  17. Awww, poor little piggy! I hope the piglet manages to get better!

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  18. I love how much empathy she has for the piglet's situation and how it connects to her own self-image. Another great six!

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  19. Bottle feeding won't make up for the lost colostrum, and if the piglet's been allowed to go more than 24 hours without it, nothing will. But I love how she applies the piglet's situation to her own.

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  20. I like the metaphor of the piglet's life and her own. Great six, Jess. :)

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  21. Nice depiction of empathy she's feeling here for the piglet...

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  22. Beautiful job conveying the fear and sadness in her, and in conveying the plight of the piglet. Nice work as always, Jess!

    Ryan

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  23. Beautiful six with a great turn at the end. And I love the piglet in boots!

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