Sunday, December 16, 2012

Six Sentence Sunday 12/16/12

Hi! Thanks for stopping by. This week's snippet is once again from my YA manuscript, DWARFED, and picks up right where last week's left off.

     “Thank you,” I whisper.
    “Humph,” Etna grunts. Her gaze oscillates from me, to Luke, to the piglet. I hold my breath, afraid she’s going to change her mind, and take the piglet. My body tenses, prepared to grab the tiny creature before she can, though I don’t know how I’ll get over the top of the nursery crate in time, it’s not like I can lean across it the way Luke and Etna do. Before I come  up with a plan, Etna snorts, spins on her heel, and lumbers through the threshold.


Be sure to check out the links of the talented writers participating in this week's Six Sentence Sunday blog hop!


23 comments:

  1. "oscillates"
    Brilliant choice of words.
    Great description.
    Nice six!

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  2. Drama and conflict averted! :) xoxo

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  3. Nice sense of drama here. Good six!

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  4. First, I'm astonished at how many totally adorable piglet photos you use! Did you take any of those?

    Second, this is a great six! I like to see characters' thought processes; you show it succinctly and with emotion.

    I normally say & see 'across' a threshold, but I know what you mean. As usual, looking forward to next week's excerpt.

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  5. Sounds like Etna tries to act so gruff, but hides the kinder side. Glad she is able to keep the pig. Hopefully she can bring it back to health. Great six! :)

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  6. Fabulous images and adorable photos!

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  7. Whew! So glad she doesn't have to fight for possession. I love the descriptive action in this week's snippet, Jess. Nicely done.

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  8. Nice six! Just one technical nit: I'd take out the comma here "mind, and take" because with the comma, it makes the previous phrase parenthetical and so the subject would be "I" and would read "I hold my breath and take the piglet" but then we realize she didn't take the piglet. So if you remove the comma you'll be saying "afraid she’s going to change her mind and take the piglet" expressing her fear Etna will take the piglet...

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  9. Excellent choice of words you use to describe this. Glad that she's able to keep the pig. Nicely done six!

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  10. Here is your blog! I've been looking for it for a while. :) You must not have signed up for Sunday Six for few weeks? I missed last week.

    It's nice to see how the little piggies are doing. :)

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    Replies
    1. I took a few weeks off for NaNo. I missed SSS, but I just didn't have enough hours in the week to do both.

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  11. I love the idea of Etna's gaze "oscillating"! What a fab use of that verb. I'm glad Etna didn't take the piglet away.

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  12. Now she just has to deal with how she's going to care for the piglet.

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  13. Love your descriptions! Great six! Love the pics, too.

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  14. Lovely six. And very cute piglets in the picture.

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  15. Her passion for the piglet is wonderful! Great six!

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  16. I hope you will keep updating your content constantly as you have one dedicated reader here...
    Estetik

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  17. I'm so glad she gets to keep the piglet! And that pic is INSANELY adorable, Jess!

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  18. I'm with Clare.
    Gotta remember that word, "oscillates."
    Nice six, Jess!

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