Sunday, August 4, 2013

Lost for Words 8/4/13 #WeWriWa and #SundaySnippet Writing Snippet


It's the first Sunday in August. I don't even want to think about how fast this summer has zipped along. Instead, I'm going to think about the great things today brings. In addition to the Weekend Writing Warriors and Snippet Sunday blog hops, I also have plans to spend a good chunk of the afternoon on the hay wagon, helping bring the first batch of second cutting in from the fields. Than it's off to the county fair with a friend to watch the figure 8 wagon races.

This week, my snippet is from my Georgian/Regency era Christmas story, Snowflakes & Beeswax. It's the last snippet from the first chapter that's in Oliver's POV. Next week you'll get to see the world through Madelyn's eyes. This week, my usually confident, chatter box of a hero finds himself struck speechless.

So, without any further ado ...

Her beauty hadn't faded. Her violet eyes were still wide, slightly slanted and seemed to take up half her face. She wore her black hair in an elegant twist. The shape of her lips and the very faint lines radiating from the corners of her eyes made him suspect she frequently smiled.   
For three years he’d fantasized about what would happen if he ever got close to her again, but he never thought it would actually happen.  He imagined her father sensed the spark of attraction Oliver felt and made the decision to keep his daughter as far away as possible.
Unsure of what to do with his hands, Oliver shoved them into his pockets and struggled to organize his jumbled thoughts. 
Now, one of his greatest wishes had come true and he couldn't think of a single thing to say.

27 comments:

  1. "She wore her black hair in in an elegant twist."
    Great line.
    There's something about the way women wear their hair that is irresistibly
    interesting.
    (oops, two "in"s) I do that all the time! LOL

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    1. Oh! Great catch. I read that line several times today and didn't even notice the second in. Thanks :)

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  2. I really like Oliver's besottedness. It could come across as corny but it doesn't; he just sounds like a guy who's had this dream keeping him going and, like a lot of us, can't believe his good luck when it looks like it's coming true. It's touching :)

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    1. Thanks. Oliver is a bit of a cliche character, but when I started working on this story, I was tired of Alpha males and just wanted some fluffy romance. It worked out since the traditional Alpha romance hero would have been more than Madelyn could deal with. The story's not perfect, but I'm fond of it.

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  3. Lovely imagery! I love the last line.

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  4. Great snippet! All those years of fantasizing and planning just flew out the window -- poor guy!

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  5. Beautiful description.

    "Now, one of his greatest wishes had come true and he couldn't think of a single thing to say."

    Yeah, ain't that how it goes? LOL

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  6. Amazing! I love how emotional this is and so filled with descriptions that I feel sucked into the story! I'm looking forward to more of this!

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  7. This is wonderful, Jess! I like this: "Unsure of what to do with his hands, Oliver shoved them into his pockets and struggled to organize his jumbled thoughts."

    I agree with Lauren. So much emotion. :-)

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  8. Love love love this. I love seeing a hero in a vulnerable moment. Fantastic descriptions, filled with emotion. I'm hooked and dying to see what he does now. :)

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  9. Striking description! I feel nervous with Oliver. :)

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  10. Nice job. I feel so bad for him at the moment. I hope he's able to pull it together soon : )

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  11. I love the gesture of him shoving his hands in his pockets--it gets across his uncertainty so well. And I love the Snowflakes and Beeswax title too!

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  12. Oh DEAR, I hope she makes it easy for her, throw the poor guy a conversational gambit quick LOL! Excellent excerpt!

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  13. Nice description, and a nice fix he's in, too. I'm sure he'll figure out something to say.

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  14. Either his fantasizing didn't extend to conversation, or it all flew out the window when he actually saw her.

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  15. This is so endearing. He's fantasized about her. Now, here she is, and he's at a loss for words. He's attracted, falling in love or already in love. Great description of her, particularly the eyes with the smile lines. Very nice.
    Rayne

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  16. Great descriptions and emotion. Can see him struck wordless.

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  17. Love the way he goes from confident and in charge, to a nervous teenager not sure what to do or say. Nicely done, Jess. :)

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  18. Now that's romantic. Wanting her from a far and when gets close, hasn't a clue what to do. Excellent snippet!
    History Sleuth's Milk Carton Murders

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  19. Nice showing here: "Unsure of what to do with his hands, Oliver shoved them into his pockets and struggled to organize his jumbled thoughts." Great eight.

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