Sunday, September 22, 2013

#WeWriWa 9/22/13

It's another Sunday, which means another Sunday of reading and writing fun! I'm participating in the Weekend Writing Warriors and Snippet Sunday blog hops, which provides writers with the perfect opportunity to show off their work-in-progress, or published snippet. It's a delightful group of talented writers.

I'm posting a snippet from my Georgian era, romance WIP, Snowflakes & Beeswax. This week's snippet picks up where my last post left off.

Thanks for visiting!

Straw and broken candles littered the floor, mixed in with large clumps of mud. There wasn’t a single corner of the room which wasn’t in touched by the disaster.  
Sebastian pushed past and surveyed the damage. The blood drained from his face. “Please tell me this … mess is … normal.” 
Oliver touched Madelyn's cheek, drawing her attention. “How did this happen?” 
Madelyn swallowed and opened her mouth, but failed to find any words. 

31 comments:

  1. What happened?! That's not fair. LOL... Great snippet. Now tell me what happened. :)

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  2. I'm going to make one critique comment but please understand, I like this excerpt a lot. You conveyed the characters' emotions excellently :)

    As shown in this short snippet, the mess described doesn't seem like a disaster to me. I don't have the sense of a really large room with loose hay thrown all over and mixed with a lot of mud, which would seem like a disaster *to me*. I get that the broken candles are a big problem for them and that's a good thing to mention.

    Now if, in the story itself, you expand the description of the disaster, or if in the next excerpt you explain further so that it feels like a huge problem even to people who've never set foot on a farm, then never mind me :D

    I like these characters and I sure hope you keep posting about them :D

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    1. I know exactly what you mean, and, actually I'm inclined to agree. I do have some additional descriptions scattered throughout this section and hopefully, those, combined with the character's reaction helps to convey the idea that this isn't just a mess, but a epic mess. If this was my work space, the mess wouldn't be a big deal at all, I'm messy by nature. Madelyn isn't, she likes things neat and orderly. Hopefully, I've managed to develop her well enough that his becomes obvious.

      Marcia, I always love your insights. Keep them coming!

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  3. Well, I get the sense that her visitors are pretty upset by the situation! Always an interesting story you have going on here...

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  4. Fantastic descriptions. I'm interested in knowing what happened. :)

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  5. Lovely description and yes what did happen? I love your title btw. I think the word "in" could be deleted in the first sentence. Nicely done snippet. Great 8.

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    1. Yeah, I think I need to get rid of that in too. Thanks!

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  6. makes your curious to know what happened. In the second sentence-There wasn’t a single corner of the room which wasn’t in touched by the disaster. You could change the wording to There wasn't a single corner of the room that wasn't touched by the disaster. Great 8

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    1. Oh, I hadn't caught that typo yet! Thanks!

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  7. Really well done, Jess. You know how to paint a picture with words. :)

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  8. I take it she and her father were in the candle-making business? Has Sebastian been mentioned earlier?

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    1. He has, but not much. He's kind of a prickish character in this story, but I've been kicking around some ideas for developing him and using him in a different story.

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  9. Clearly something horrible has happened and they're distraught. Great snippet!

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  10. Sadness all around; every detail you've written makes certain of that (or am I wrong?) Wonderful snippet, Jess.

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  11. I need to know more! So intriguing. Guess I'll have to come back next week to find out what happened.

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  12. Uh oh--how did it happen? :-) I'm intrigued. Is there a mystery element to this story? Very visual snippet, Jess! And I really like that you wrote a holiday story!

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  13. I'm a bit of a messy person by nature, but that kind of mess would probably upset me too! I also am curious to know how the room got so disastrously messy.

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    1. I'm the same way. I've noticed that when I'm the one who makes the mess, I'm okay with it, but my attitude is completely different when it's someone else who has created the chaos.

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  14. Sigh, now we have to wait a week to find out how this happened. You are going to tell us next week...right? Please : )

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  15. And now I have to wait another week to find out what's happened...

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  16. Nice description :-) Can't wait to see why it's a mess.

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  17. Now I'm intrigued. I want to know what happened and how. Seem like he's pretty pissed off about it. Next week maybe???
    History Sleuth's Milk Carton Murders

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