Sunday, September 29, 2013

#WeWriWa Snowflakes & Beeswax Snippet 9/29/13

It's Sunday, which means another Sunday of reading and writing fun! I'm participating in the Weekend Writing Warriors and Snippet Sunday blog hops. Both of these hops invite writers to post short, eight sentence snippets of their WIPs or published snippets.

A very talented group of writers are participating this week. You should take some time to visit their blogs and check out their samples. Clicking the WeWriWa link leads you to a list of this week's participants.

I'm posting a snippet from my Georgian era, romance WIP, Snowflakes & Beeswax. I decided to jump ahead a bit, mostly because I really like this particular snippet.

Thanks for visiting!

Oliver studied Madelyn's face. Emotion, indefinable but intense, darkened his eyes. 
He leaned closer, his breath, which smelled of coffee and tobacco, washed over her face.    
Madelyn's eyes closed as her lips parted and her hands trembled. Her body swayed towards his, his heat beckoned to her the way lamplight drew moths and she rose onto her toes.    
Something, probably a branch, snapped in the distance, the sound causing Madelyn to scramble backwards, her boots slipping and sliding on the snow. 
Oliver shifted, placing his body between Madelyn and the direction of the sound. He shielded his eyes and scanned the tree line. 

  

24 comments:

  1. Oh wow, I can see why you like this snippet. You took me on quite the journey. What a great moment, and you conveyed it with keen detail and concision. Wonderful. :)

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    1. Thanks, Dana! I was really surprised by how well it turned out!

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  2. Dang noise! She almost got her kiss!

    This snippet is like poetry, Jess. Lovely, visual, suggestive. Nice 8!

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  3. Yep this is an excellent snippet. You're very perceptive about how to draw out tension in just the right way in a romantic moment.

    (I did pause a bit at the "rose on her toes" rhyme but it was a minor blip. Not even sure it's worth tweaking.)

    Best of luck with this story! It's definitely worth pursuing.

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    1. Oh! It feels like I've read through this scene a thousand times and didn't catch that! I don't think it changes the flow to badly, and like you said, it's minor, so I think I'll leave it.

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  4. Beautiful emotion and detail here, I love it!

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  5. So lovely and emotional. I can picture the whole thing.

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  6. Beautiful little moment. I hope she gets that kiss : )

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  7. Oh, I can't believe she didn't get that kiss after all those fluttering nerves. Lovely snippet!

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  8. I liked this snippet too! Hopefully the kiss doesn't have to be deferred for too much longer...excellent excerpt!

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  9. very good 8. the focus on the almost kiss and then the branch interrupting

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  10. Great 8, and I love his reflexes at a possible threat!

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  11. I like the fact that he's perceptive enough to interpret the noise as a threat and try to protect her.

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  12. Ooh an interrupted kiss is always a great way to add tension. Love how he goes protective to punch the scene's edge even further. Well done with your 8s.

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  13. I like how interprets the sound as potential danger and tries to protect her. That's a good man for ya!

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  14. Oh...the almost kiss. I love those. Then he automatically goes into protection mode without missing a beat. Very cool

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  15. Of course the kiss was interrupted. lol I love that he wants to protect her from danger. Intense and emotional scene. Well done!

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  16. Lovely details frame this moment, Jess. Very nicely done!

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