This week I pulled a 9 (sorry moderators) snippet from my contemporary manuscript, DWARFED. This collection of sentences picks up where last week's left off. It's a scene that could only take place on farm.
DWARFED is a YA story about Grace, a fictional teen with achondroplasia dwarfisam who currently finds life a little tougher than she ever dreamt possible.
When you're done here, take some time and read some of the great snippets that other participants have published. You'll be glad you did!
Luke sits in a farrowing crate, his back braced
against the wall, his legs stretched out in front of him. There’s a steel
bucket half full of strange-looking, small, pink blobbish things and a plastic
container full of hypodermic syringes wedged against his hip, another syringe is stuck between his teeth.
His left
hand snakes out, snagging one of the piglets. He ignores its ear splitting
squeal and pins it between his elbow and rib cage. With one hand he swaps a
patch of skin with what looks like a cotton swapped that has been stained with
some sort of reddish brown substance, I’m guessing iodine. His right hand pulls
the syringe out of his mouth, and in one smooth movement, pokes the needle into
the piglet and depresses the plunger. He tosses the now empty syringe into the
plastic box and picks up a giant crayon and draws a slash mark between
the piglet’s shoulder blades.
The entire
process takes about two seconds.
“What are
you doing,” I ask again, raising my voice.
Thanks for reading my snippet!
Poor little piglet :-) Very vivid scene
ReplyDeleteThank you :)
DeleteThis look like a vaccination time. Nice job!
ReplyDeleteIn this case, Iron injections, it's the only thing pig milk doesn't have.
DeleteGreat details!
ReplyDeleteI've seen my dad do this. Great scene.
ReplyDeleteI've done it. It's always been my least favorite part about working with livestock, but I admire people how smooth and easy some people make it look. It's an art.
DeleteWhat I really admire is how you always find ways to make Luke seem in charge and appealing doing these day-to-day chores. :)
ReplyDelete:D Farmers are incredible!
DeleteYeah, Luke has everything down to an easy science, or most of it anyway :) I guess you pretty much have to when you live and work on a farm. Even when we had a lot of cats, we got to be experts at getting pills in the mouth and down the gullet :D You're great at painting a vivid scene in a short space, Jess!
ReplyDeleteIt's amazing what a person can accomplish when they don't want to have to deal with a vet bill. Giving shots, pulling foals, and bandaging wounds aren't things I enjoy, but I've learned.
DeleteWell that's a job done well! A scene well painted.
ReplyDeleteJust a day in life on the farm or anywhere people do their daily chores; a mother diapering a baby, docors performing surgery. Know your job. Wonderful snippet!
ReplyDeleteExactly!
DeleteI can't help but picture Mike Rowe from Dirty Jobs....except without the same level of competence. Great description:)
ReplyDeleteThanks! I love Mike Rowe.
DeleteGreat snippet, Jess. I love the economy of Luke's motions. :)
ReplyDeleteVery nice description.
ReplyDeleteYou can tell you have farm experience. :) I'm from a rural area so I can tell. You made the scene clear and realistic. Nice job!
ReplyDelete(PS> Did you mean cotton swab instead of cotton swapped?")
Yep, that's exactly what I meant. Thanks for catching that!
DeleteEfficient on Luke's part. So well described I could really see the scene and it all has the ring of utter truth. Great snippet!
ReplyDeleteThanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it!
DeleteObviously innoculating the piglets against something, but why a crayon rather than a marker or sharpie pen?
ReplyDeleteGood question, I'm going to have to look to make sure I addressed it in the manuscript (I don't think I had). The purpose of the crayon is to make it easy to tell which animals have been done and which ones still need inoculated. The crayon is kind of like facepaint and doesn't hurt the animal, and wears off after a few days.
ReplyDeleteI love this scene---we never raised anything that needed inoculation (chickens, ducks, and geese, mostly for eggs and to give the neighborhood's badly-thought-out Easter gifts somewhere to live :) ), but I knew exactly what was happening from your description of the action.
ReplyDeleteI'm really looking forward to reading this whole story.
I felt like I was there!
ReplyDeleteFantastic description of the process, Jess! I'm so happy you're back to Grace and Luke. :-)
ReplyDeleteEfficiency, thy name is "Farmer."
ReplyDeleteThat was a fabulous descriptive scene. I can see the squealing piglet and the competent farmer just doing his thing. Great snippet!
ReplyDeleteI wasn't sure what the pink blobs were at first...then kind of giggled that they were squirming, squealing piglets. Such a fun scene to witness, felt like I was there.
ReplyDeleteGreat imagery. Love the word 'blobbish'. Nice 8!
ReplyDeleteGreat description there.
ReplyDelete