Now that the January is more than half over, I have a difficult time promoting a Christmas themed book, but after nearly a year, I've picked up DWARFED and started editing it again, so I've decided to start sharing from it again, at least for a few weeks.
DWARFED is my pride and joy. Is's a YA story about a teenager with
achondroplasia dwarfisam who currently finds life a little tougher than she dreamt possible. I hope you enjoy it! When you're done here, take some time and read some of the great snippets that other participants have published. You'll be glad you did.
Heat slams into me, drawing the moisture from my skin as I shoulder the door to the farrowing room open. It’s funny how warm 72 degrees feels after being outside where the air temperature is barely above freezing.
“Hey
Grace!” Before the door has a chance to swing shut behind me, Al Verne, the
farm manager, jumps out of the nursery crate. “You’re just in time to keep Luke
company while he finishes up in here.
“Morning.”
I dig a plastic sandwich bag out of my skirt pocket, and walk to the crate
where I can see the top of Luke’s battered ball cap. “Hey Luke, Aunt Maggie
wanted me to bring you … What are you doing.”
Farrowing is a word used to describe a pig that's giving birth. A farrowing room is a quiet place where farmers place sows so they can have a few days of peace and quiet to get to know the newborn piglets.
The battered ball cap is a great touch. (I don't know if I've ever seen a farmer wearing one that wasn't battered, now that I think of it.) Great snippet!
ReplyDeleteI've been surrounded by farmers my entire life, and the beat up ball cap, usually worn year round, is one thing they all have in common, at least for the guys. I'm pretty sure that, if I looked hard enough, I'd find a section of Tractor Supply that sells pre-battered and abused ball caps.
DeleteI like the opening description of the heat versus the cold, sound very realistic. And I certainly am intrigued about what he is doing.
ReplyDeleteThis scene is really vivid, Jess---all she really did was walk into the room, but I was there1 And the premise is intriguing.
ReplyDeleteThank you. I just finished tweaking this scene and was hoping it worked.
DeleteGreat imagery, the scene worked really well!
ReplyDeleteDid not remember previous snippetts from this work being in first person present.
ReplyDeleteWhat is the most challenging aspect of that choice of tense?
I thin every version has been in first person, but the change to present tense was one of the last big revisions I made before back burnering the project. The hardest part about first person is making sure that I never show anything that the MC isn't actually experiencing, which makes it really difficult to shape all other characters.
DeleteThat's been easy compared to changing to present tense. I think in past tense, so I spend a great deal of time staring at verbs and questioning if I've used the correct one. I also have a difficult time with dialogue, which sometimes has to lapse into past tense or else it doesn't sound organic.
I firmly believe that my choice in tense was what this particular story needs to be told in present tense, but I also hope it's the only story I ever write in this style. I truly prefer 3rd person POV.
I remember this story! I always enjoyed the snippets you shared with us from it, so was happy to see the characters back today. Terrific excerpt, need more!
ReplyDeleteI love this story and have high hopes for it, but I needed to take a break from it, though I didn't think that break would span a year. Still, it was the right choice. I'm glad you like the excerpt.
DeleteBeautiful writing! Now I've added 'visiting a farrowing room' to my bucket list. I wanna see the little newborn piglets! :D
ReplyDeleteThere really isn't anything cuter than a litter of freshly born piglets. They're so tiny and innocent.
DeleteThe battered ball cap - excellent. I'm right there with Grace and I immediately like her character voice. Aww, I have such fond memories of your Dwarfed posts. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks, Dana :)
DeleteGlad you've come back to this. I love the little touches you always include that help bring scenes to life. I think the other characters' personalities come across loud and clear. I'm wishing you the very best with this story, Jess. It deserves publication :-)
ReplyDeleteThanks, Marcia. I'm still trying to figure out exactly what I want to do with this story.
DeleteGreat sense of setting to this. Feels like I'm there.
ReplyDeleteThank you :)
DeleteIs this a new opening? Imagination runs wild on what he could be doing to help a sow with problems farrowing.
ReplyDeleteNice to be visiting Grace and Luke again. What IS he doing? And is that a sandwich she brought him?
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed your snippet :-)
ReplyDeleteThe ball cap sounds very authentic.
ReplyDeleteIt's so nice to be back to Grace and Luke! I can hardly wait to read this one, Jess!
ReplyDeleteI have a WIP in which there's a flashback of an old man (MC) when he was a young man on a farm in the 1930s. I give a very vivid description of how he and his father helped a cow birth a calf out in the pasture. It involves a piece of baler twine (which they called binder-twine) and him rolling up his sleeves above his elbows. I saw it several times when I was a child, and it's something I'll never forget. It's fun sharing farm stories, huh? ;-)
Good 8!
Love the imagery in this snippet.
ReplyDeleteI've missed this story so much. Very glad to see more of it.
ReplyDeleteInteresting premise. Very good writing. I enjoyed it.
ReplyDelete