Sunday, May 13, 2012

Six Sentence Sunday: Fools and Runts Part 1

This week's six happens to be very short, not terribly sweet, and sets up the the section I want to use over the next few weeks. Thanks in advance for all your helpful advice. I really am very appreciative. 
         
             “You’re really going to love this.”
Shooting a curious glance at Luke, I step across the threshold and directly into an invisible wall of heat. It’s as if someone had opened the gates of Hell. The dry heat reminds me of Arizona and Nevada, the kind of heat that leaches the moisture from your skin instantly making you crave water.
For a moment I’m so distracted by the heat, I don’t notice the bars. Everywhere I look it seems like there are metal bars many of them are bent, and they’re so covered in dirt and rust it’s impossible to guess they’re original color.



Links to other authors participating in this week's Six Sentence Sunday can be found here.

Thanks again :)


33 comments:

  1. Wow, that's a very interesting snippet but great description! Wonder where she is? Can't wait to read more!

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  2. "For a moment I’m so distracted by the heat, I don’t notice the bars. At first the only thing I notice is the bars."

    Those two sentences contradict each other. I recommend deleting one of them.

    You've got nice scene setting in these six sentences. Already I'm picturing a dry, slightly red-looking landscape. But I'm wondering how the bars got so rusted in a dry area.

    The details are really good. Love the "invisible wall of dry heat."

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    1. Oh, thanks for catching that. Glad you enjoyed it.

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  3. WOW! I can't wait to find out what happened. This is an enthralling twist!

    Sarah Ballance

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  4. I can feel that heat, but now I'm wondering about all the bars.

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    1. Hopefully, you won't be disappointed. Thanks for taking the time to read this weeks snippet.

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  5. Intriguing six! Great description of the heat and the bars. It makes me very curious. And, I agree with Kate, that those two sentences could be adjusted or even amalgamated.

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  6. Love that line about moisture leaching from the skin. Great description!

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    1. That's my favorite line from this set as well.

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  7. Nice details! Can't wait to see where, exactly, she is! Have a great day!

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  8. Oh, wow! It's chilly here and I could feel that blast of heat from your description. Nice! :D

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    1. Glad I helped warm things up, even if just for a few seconds. =D

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  9. Whoa, that made me feel hot right along with her. Nice six! xx

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  10. Excellent description of the heat and how it's perceived.

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  11. I can't add a thing to what has been shared by other sixers. So I will suffice to say...I'll be back to read more now that you have it set up. :-)

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  12. That sounds very threatening. Well done.

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  13. Gotta love that heat blast. It happens with humid heat too. I'm not sure which I find worse. Great job.

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    1. I'm Michigan born and raised, so I know all about humid heat, which I think is worse. People can adapt to dry heat, but humidity just seems to get heavier and stickier. Plus it makes my hair all frizzy.

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  14. My curiosity is now peaked -- waiting for more now! :)

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  15. Your description intrigued me immediately. I like your use of first person, too...it really made me feel present in the scene. Nice work, Jess!
    ~ Ryan derham

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  16. Oh, man, I don't know if I'd be worried I'd been caged or worried what had gotten out. Great six, Jess. And as a Nevada resident, it is remarkably hot and dry here. Nice description. :)

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  17. Really glad I'm going through the backlog of these as opposed to just reading this the first week, because then I'd have to wait another week. Don't worry about replying if you're busy. It's the summer, everyone has too much stuff to do. I'm procrastinating right now!

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