Sunday, June 24, 2012

Six Sentence Sunday: Fools and Runts VII

Here's the six sentences that follows the six I posted last week. I can't thank everyone enough for your wonderful comments. You've been amazing both with your support and your advice!

Luke watches the piglet tug at my shoelaces. “I know it sounds harsh,” he says, “but I’ve tried saving runts before, and it’s never ended …” His voice falter and dies as his grip on the metal bar tightens, and his eyes slide up the length of my body until they eventually meet mine.
            I cross my arms over my chest and glare at him. “Please,” my voice has never sounded so cold . “Go on.”

Six Sentence Sunday is a blogging event that happens every week. A list of the participating authors can be found at http://www.sixsunday.com/

31 comments:

  1. It gets better and better each week. Wonderful job, Jess! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, I always appreciate you taking the time to stop by and offer up some suggestions :)

      Delete
  2. So much tension and a hint of sadness. Great six! :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. There is a whole lot of tension between them!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's what I'm shooting for! Thanks for taking the time to read my snippet. I appreciate it.

      Delete
  4. Yep, it's slowly dawning on him that he's really stepped in it with her. Great six!

    ReplyDelete
  5. I suspect he's going to regret that honesty :)

    ReplyDelete
  6. This is grand. He's moving from educating her in a somewhat patronising way, to perhaps realising that she's not just a bit 'small for her age'. the boy can learn! :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. The setting for the discussion is wonderful.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Aww, I hope she changes his mind & it works out this time!

    ReplyDelete
  9. I love how you show his moment of dawning 'oh crap' realisation! Great six.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree with Karen! I love how she says "go on." Looking forward to the next six.

      Delete
    2. I was pretty pleased with how it turned out, thank you.

      Delete
  10. Nice six, Jess! I love these two characters. He's so farmer matter-of-fact about the runt, and she is so soft-hearted. Great tension. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  11. Great six! I would love to read more.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Sounds like he's going to get an ear-full. Good six, Jess.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Great tension, and at last he's starting to realise ...

    ReplyDelete
  14. Yep, he's definitely put his foot in his mouth with that one. Great six!!

    ReplyDelete
  15. Very nice interplay between the characters here. You manage to convey a lot about their relationship in just these few sentences -- nicely done!

    ReplyDelete
  16. He better have a really good finish for that thought or this could get ugly. Great six, Jess!

    ReplyDelete
  17. Hey everybody! My internet has taken to running at a ridiculously slow rate so I've opted for a blanket thank you for taking to time to stop by, read, and comment on my blog. I appreciate it :)

    ReplyDelete
  18. So much packed into a mere six sentences. You had me at "piglet tug at my shoelaces". Great six, Jess :-)

    ReplyDelete
  19. Great six, I was enamored with the piglet, and felt the same response to Luke's words! Nice work with the body language to show reaction!!!

    ReplyDelete
  20. Uh-oh. Great six! Love the tension here. :)

    ReplyDelete
  21. Ouch. You captured this moment *so* well!

    ReplyDelete