Sunday, June 24, 2012

Six Sentence Sunday: Fools and Runts VII

Here's the six sentences that follows the six I posted last week. I can't thank everyone enough for your wonderful comments. You've been amazing both with your support and your advice!

Luke watches the piglet tug at my shoelaces. “I know it sounds harsh,” he says, “but I’ve tried saving runts before, and it’s never ended …” His voice falter and dies as his grip on the metal bar tightens, and his eyes slide up the length of my body until they eventually meet mine.
            I cross my arms over my chest and glare at him. “Please,” my voice has never sounded so cold . “Go on.”

Six Sentence Sunday is a blogging event that happens every week. A list of the participating authors can be found at http://www.sixsunday.com/

28 comments:

  1. It gets better and better each week. Wonderful job, Jess! :)

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    1. Thanks, I always appreciate you taking the time to stop by and offer up some suggestions :)

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  2. So much tension and a hint of sadness. Great six! :)

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  3. There is a whole lot of tension between them!

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    1. That's what I'm shooting for! Thanks for taking the time to read my snippet. I appreciate it.

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  4. Yep, it's slowly dawning on him that he's really stepped in it with her. Great six!

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  5. I suspect he's going to regret that honesty :)

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  6. This is grand. He's moving from educating her in a somewhat patronising way, to perhaps realising that she's not just a bit 'small for her age'. the boy can learn! :)

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  7. The setting for the discussion is wonderful.

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  8. Aww, I hope she changes his mind & it works out this time!

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  9. I love how you show his moment of dawning 'oh crap' realisation! Great six.

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    1. I agree with Karen! I love how she says "go on." Looking forward to the next six.

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    2. I was pretty pleased with how it turned out, thank you.

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  10. Nice six, Jess! I love these two characters. He's so farmer matter-of-fact about the runt, and she is so soft-hearted. Great tension. :-)

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  11. Great six! I would love to read more.

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  12. Sounds like he's going to get an ear-full. Good six, Jess.

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  13. Great tension, and at last he's starting to realise ...

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  14. Yep, he's definitely put his foot in his mouth with that one. Great six!!

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  15. Very nice interplay between the characters here. You manage to convey a lot about their relationship in just these few sentences -- nicely done!

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  16. He better have a really good finish for that thought or this could get ugly. Great six, Jess!

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  17. Hey everybody! My internet has taken to running at a ridiculously slow rate so I've opted for a blanket thank you for taking to time to stop by, read, and comment on my blog. I appreciate it :)

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  18. So much packed into a mere six sentences. You had me at "piglet tug at my shoelaces". Great six, Jess :-)

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  19. Great six, I was enamored with the piglet, and felt the same response to Luke's words! Nice work with the body language to show reaction!!!

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  20. Uh-oh. Great six! Love the tension here. :)

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  21. Ouch. You captured this moment *so* well!

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