Friday, July 13, 2012

Friday Fictioneers: 7/13/12 Round 2

No sooner do I get something posted for this week's Friday Fictioneers prompt, when another idea slams into me. I like this one a little better, but I decided to leave both posted. Any and all comments and criticisms will be appreciated and considered. Thanks.

To read some incredible bits of flash fiction, you need to visit this page.

The prompt, courtesy Madison Woods.
 buzzard

Shouldering On
  106 words

Ted paused, stealing a moment to admire the bird swooping and soaring above his head, gliding from one thermal to another as it circled the property.  The breathtaking beauty of its flight striking counterpoint to its appearance before it settled on the limb of the dying cottonwood. The buzzard folded his wings and turned his head, meeting Ted’s eye, issuing a silent promise. After a moments reflection, Ted shouldered the sack of corn. He’s a farmer, ignoring harbingers of dying crops, broken machinery, low sale prices, and high taxes is just part of his job description. Right now, the cows needed to be fed.

If you're interested, the link to the first story I posted can be found here.

40 comments:

  1. That is so true. Well described true to life story I thought.

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  2. I can see my grandfather, who was a farmer, acting just like this. First things first. Animals need to be fed, crops need to be taken care of. All else waits. Nice.

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  3. enjoyed this... very nicely done, and I agree beauty surrounds us, even in drought...

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  4. A fine piece of writing. I'm here and linked: http://readinpleasure.wordpress.com/2012/07/13/fridayfictioneers-spectators/

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  5. Very nicely written and a good portrayal of someone who is connected to the rhythms of life.

    For those who havent visited yet, Im here: http://ajaroffireflies.blogspot.com/2012/07/friday-fictioneers-7132012.html

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    1. Thank you for your sweet compliments!

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  6. Nice piece of writing. Since you asked for comments: I'm not sure about the change of tense towards the end, it took me out of the story a little, so that it became reportage.

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    1. I was just looking at that same line and trying to figure out why it didn't feel right. Thanks!

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    2. I was about to say that. Otherwise, very nice story. Puts me in mind of my husband's uncle. We really miss Uncle Wendell.

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  7. Wow, I loved both Flash Fictions and they both have the ability to flash images into my head. On the first flash "..branches of the dead cottonwood tree.." and "sun starts slithering beneath the horizon.." on the second, "...limb of the dying cottonwood.." and my favorite "...meeting Ted’s eye, issuing a silent promise." I do like the second one best. It is very melancholy and you feel the weight of on Ted's shoulders. Very well done on both.

    Here is a link to mine for those who haven't read it.
    http://mahjira.blogspot.com/2012/07/bird-friday-fictioneer.html

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  8. This guy need to start playing Power Ball. Or maybe he should start praying. Great story.

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    1. LOL, it's a hard way to earn a living. Thanks!

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  9. Nice contrast between the poetic appreciation of the bitd's flight and the prosaic and depressing job he has to do. I think Atiya's right, he should start praying because his future doesnt' look good. In this short piece, you made me care about what happens to him because you showed me the way his thoughts soared with the bird.
    cheers,
    Lorelei
    www.westcoastwriters.blogspot.com

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  10. A beautiful opening and then hitting the life of the farmer: "ignoring harbingers of dying crops, broken machinery, low sale prices, and high taxes is just part of his job description." just took the cake. Knowing how things are in the midwest this year, a very timely story.

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    1. This dry spell is nuts. I was actually watching the turkey buzzards flying over the very dry hay fields when this story came to me. Thanks for stopping by.

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  11. I really like the contrast of how you start with this majestic image and then reveal it's a buzzard with its "silent promise" (what a chilling phrase!). Nice work!

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  12. Well done, double inspiration and both excellent. Excellent observation and connection between the two, an inkling of premonition, something that will come back to him later, but for now things to be done. Keep up the inspiration and thank you for your kind words in return.

    http://wp.me/s1nUrn-buzzard

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    1. Thanks! There's a few different ways I could take this if I ever feel the need to turn it into something longer. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

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  13. I appreciate the contrast and internal dialogue

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  14. WOW, just well done!!!

    Boomie BOl

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    1. Wow! That's quite a compliment. I'll take it :)

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  15. I really appreciated this true to life description of the farmer. Both my husband and I were raised on the farm and raised our family on the farm. Very nice!

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    1. It's a tough, but wonderful life. All of my favorite people seem to be farmers!

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  16. Nicely done, the imagery is striking. Thank you for stopping by my site.
    Here is my Offering this week for others yaralwrites.com

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  17. Well spoken! Sounds like my world; I can relate to this post.

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  18. Both farmer and buzzard living the hard life. Nice imagery.

    http://logo-ligi.com/2012/07/12/soliloquy-of-a-disgruntled-raven/

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  19. Through your beautiful prose I pictured it all. Well done!

    --Jan
    http://janmorrill.wordpress.com/2012/07/13/flashfriday-fictioneers-the-ugly-one/

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  20. Very nice--and timely, unfortunately, for all of our farmers and dried up crops. Well done! I prefer this one, too.

    Thanks for your nice comments on mine. For others it's here http://banterwithbeth.blogspot.com

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