Wow, trying to write a complete micro-fiction story and make it work into my Camp Nanowrimo novel is really tough.
I love the beauty of photo prompt supplied by
Broken
I appreciate the irony.
After
all of my various self-destructive stunts, a clam shell was going to get the job done. If I hadn’t been in such a
hurry, if I’d grabbed my shoes, if I’d
looked where I was stepping, the broken shell would not have mangled the bottom
of my foot. Blood surges from the gash, uniting with mud and bits of road
gravel, sapping my strength, making my movements sluggish.
I stumble, falling to my knees. All I can think about is the words I’ve left
unspoken.
Wow, it seems we both had death on our minds Jess. Mines on the linky thing but is also here: http://womanontheedgeofreality.com/2012/08/10/friday-fictioneers-shell-seeker/
ReplyDeleteThanks. I've been in a macabre mood all summer. Death seems to be a recurring theme.
DeleteOuch. That's one deep cut. Think I'll keep my shoes on from now on. intriguing use of the prompt.
ReplyDeleteDear Jess,
ReplyDeleteWhat was the stunt? I like the rhyme of Broken and unspoken and the feeling of inevitable doom you imparted to the piece, but what is going to do her in?
Aloha,
Doug
http://ironwoodwind.wordpress.com/2012/08/10/croatan-summer/
Thanks Doug.
DeleteI'm intrigued by how this fits into your other work, Jess! And, like Doug, how will the shell be her end?
ReplyDeleteWell done.
We're here: http://www.lazuli-portals.com/flash-fiction/pursuit-of-the-pearl
The connections a little loose, but in my head it works, we'll see what happens when I try to get it all down in one fluid story. Thanks for stopping by!
DeleteI read this as though the narrator was running after someone to say something meaningful, before cutting his/her foot so badly. We all get something different from stories. Nicely done.
ReplyDeleteSo true! Thank you!
DeleteThat is quite a feat - making 100 words fit into a larger story while remaining complete as themselves. Great job!
ReplyDeleteThis reminded me of stepping on a piece of broken glass when on holiday beside a lake as a very young child. I managed to limp back to where we were staying, trailing blood all the way. Mummy was so hysterical about it that I sat down on the ground and pulled it out myself. Mummy did manage to wash, disinfect and bind it up after that, and I survived without infection. I must have been five or six. I hadn't thought about that for years. Your story brought it all back, so you must have written it well!
ReplyDeleteAww, thank you for your sweet words. I'm glad you made it through the incident without too much damage. It seems like all of my friends and sister have at least one story about stepping on a nail, broken board, or bit of glass, the hazards of running through childhood barefoot.
DeleteThis brought back childhood memories. Growing up in the country, running around barefoot our feet took some beatings...blood and all. Was her cut so deep that she was in danger of bleeding to death? Did she not have enough sense to tear a piece of her clothing to try to stop the bleeding until help arrived?
ReplyDeleteGood question. Either she's not very smart, or her writer hasn't thought about how much blood she'd have to lose in order to bleed to death :) Thanks for taking the time to stop by.
DeleteThe "words left unspoken" thought is one I try to remember if not daily, at least regularly. If I never see the person leaving again, would I want what I just said to be the last words they heard from me? Would I wish I'd said something I haven't said? Helps keep me from taking the wrong things too seriously and helps me to forgive. Good job.
ReplyDeletejanet
That's really good advice, that's not always easy to follow through on. It's something I've been trying to improve about myself. Thanks for stopping by :)
DeleteReally like this, Jess! It brings to mind a lot of things I'd wish to change, undo, etc.
ReplyDelete