Sunday, November 4, 2012

Six Sentance Sunday 11/4/12

Sunday again! This week's six picks up where last week's dropped off, and as promised, I worked things back around to my pretty little piglet, well sort of. Also, thank you so much for pointing out all the flaws in last week's snippet, it always amazes me how many obvious flaws I miss. Because of your help, DWARFED is a much better story than it was prior to me starting all this Six Sentence Sunday stuff. Thank you!

Don't forget to check out the amazing writers participating in this week's blog hop.

No one knew whether I was going to live or die.
My parents had stuck it out, they’d believed in me, and made sacrifices to ensure I’d not only survived, but thrived. Was it possible this tiny piglet with its uncertain future, the universe’s way of providing me with the means of settling a cosmic debt?
I hurry across the room, twist my fingers in the bottom of Luke’s t-shirt and force him to look down at me.
“I want it.”
             “What?”

25 comments:

  1. Oh, I like this. Now I see how the two stories fit together. :)

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    1. :) Glad it makes sense. I'm never sure things work out on paper as well as they do in my head.

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  2. So much revealed in this six. I hope she is able to bring the piglet back to health.

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  3. Readers will want to know, "What?"

    I want to know if I missed something -- or did you change tense right in the middle? Sometimes these snippets taken out of context give the wrong impression.

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    1. That's the problem with the 6 sentence rule. The what is Luke's reaction to the unexpectedness of the statement, which gets explained (assuming I've done my job correctly) in the next sentence.

      Thanks

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  4. Aww! I love that piglet and so touching. Great six. :-)

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  5. I like how her character is transforming. She's so feisty. And, these PIGS! Too cute!!

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  6. Perfect! Exactly right that she would feel this way and do what she did. Can't wait to see how easy/hard it is to convince Luke, though. Great six!

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  7. I love the way she's making comparisons with her own life. Lovely!

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    1. I'm so glad it worked out the way I wanted. Thank you.

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  8. Aw, nice! Grace really comes across as 3D for me, and part of that is how she interacts with Luke. This story is not just fun but eye-opening in a gentle way. Looking forward to more.

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  9. Love the "lolpic". So cute. And Grace's attitude shines through this week's snippet. You've provided an interesting glimpse into her thoughts and history. Nicely done. :)

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  10. Her parents have taught her well, I like how you compare her with her parents. Nice six, and I hope she can save the piglet. Also, thanks again for your comment on my six - I was trying too hard. I'm relatively new to the writing world and this is my first book.

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  11. I want her to save this baby sooo bad!

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  12. I like the "cosmic debt". Great six!

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  13. Awe, that is so sweet! I think I sort of figured that she would want the runt. I really liked the way she compared her beginnings to the piglet's. Nice six!

    I want to let you know, too, that Steven's book is free today on Amazon.

    http://www.amazon.com/Bountiful-Creek-legendary-story-ebook/dp/B008CPZHYE/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1350879232&sr=8-1&keywords=bountiful+creek

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  14. Well it was going to come to that sooner or later...

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  15. You're doing a great job of delivering backstory through these piglets!

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