Sunday, April 14, 2013

Sunday Writing

On Sunday's a group of talented writers participate in a virtual sharing group that takes place in the form of a the Weekend Writing Warriors and Sunday Snippet blog hops. All over the internet snippets of published, unpublished, and WIPS get posted on various blogs. Snippets are 8 sentences long and cover a wide array of genres.

Last week I posted the 1st 8 sentences of a new project I'd just started writing. Although my writing time has been very limited this week, I'm having a great time with this project. I'm not sure where the story is going, but I do know it's set in the 13th century and it's going to be some kind of Gothic romance.


         Branches grabbed at her, catching in her hair and grabbing at the tattered cloak, scraping her flesh, trying to bind her. Every time she broke free of one twig, it seemed like another took its place.
Rachel panicked. Her arms failed and she jerked this way and that, fighting the forest, too frightened to notice the deep gouges multiplying on her face and hands, or the chunks of hair that remained tangled on the trees after she managed to pass.
Rachel didn’t know how long she fought her way through the trees, but when she came to the edge of them and stepped into rolling pasture, relief rushed through her, so strong her knees nearly buckled.
She didn’t think, she ran.
She managed two steps when an arm reached out, wrapped around her waist, and jerked her against an unyielding body.

29 comments:

  1. I liked the personification of the forest.
    Poor gal can't escape though, huh?
    Someone or something is always grabbing her!
    Nice 8!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Love this panic I can sense in this one. And the end! Whoot! Very nicely done!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Very scary. I can't wait to find out who grabbed her and why?

    ReplyDelete
  4. A vivid, almost sensual atmosphere permeates this scene through your beautifully descriptive writing. Rachel's panic and relief come across nicely, and just when she feels that relief she's gripped by fear again in the last line. Well done!!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hmmm . . . is he a friend or enemy? Can't wait to find out!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Oh, wow. The tension is palpable in this, then the mysterious cliffhanger. Perfect teaser snippet!

    ~Joyce Scarbrough

    ReplyDelete
  7. AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! Ahem...sorry...great stuff, fabulous creation of tension!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Dark, scary, as if the forest wasn't frightening enough in its impersonal attacks, something or someone just became very personal. Well done!!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Oh DEAR, I really got wrapped up in her panic, very effective excerpt! Wonder who this stout arm belongs to...

    ReplyDelete
  10. love the imagery in this snippet, and the tense last line!

    ReplyDelete
  11. I didn't see that coming, I thought something was going to happen once she got further away! I can hear her screaming already :D

    ReplyDelete
  12. Hmmm, unyielding bodies are the best kind to be yanked up against! Tense, evocative snippet.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Great scary scene with the forest fighting her. Then a brief relief and another scare. Wonderful.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Wonderfully Gothic already, Jess! I can feel her panic and the claustrophobia of the forest. :D

    ReplyDelete
  15. This is a gripping excerpt. Kudos!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Oh so close and then to be pulled back...Eep! Great snippet, Jess. One small thing: If we're in her POV and she's "too frightened to notice the deep gouges multiplying on her face and hands, or the chunks of hair that remained tangled on the trees", then why mention it? A good way to say this and keep the detail is "Her fear overrode the deep gouges in her face and hands or the pain of each chunk if hair torn by the branches, left behind in her wake." This keeps it in her POV. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nice catch, Siobhan. :-) You are good with POV. :-)

      Delete
  17. Well, the hair could be a clue for trackers later. Nicely claustrophobic, but too many grabs. How about replacing the first with "reached for?"

    ReplyDelete
  18. I like the suggestions Siobhan made - they would definitely work. My overriding feelings after reading your 8 was Poor girl! She survives so much and finds herself caught after every thing she went through. Good work, you really made me care for her.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Love the emotion, and if this is your fist draft, don't worry about editing. It will just slow you down. Tweeted.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Who is it!! Friend or foe? You're going to make us wait, grr, lol. I felt her relief when she got to the pasture, bet she doesn't feel that way anymore. Fab snippet.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Wonderful imagery, Jess, and that last line? A zinger! Can't wait to read more. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  22. This is great. Can't wait to find out who grabbed her:)

    ReplyDelete
  23. You've managed to convey her panic and fear wonderfully in this snippet. Very effective!

    ReplyDelete
  24. Wonderful sense of momentum. Well done!

    ReplyDelete
  25. I'd like to see where this is going.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Do keep writing! I have just stopped by from the AtoZ Challenge and have put a link to your blog from my post today http://wp.me/p2Eu3u-lx

    ReplyDelete
  27. I am very enjoyed for this blog. Its an informative topic. It help me very much to solve some problems. Its opportunity are so fantastic and working style so speedy. I think it may be help all of you.
    Estetik

    ReplyDelete