I can't believe that it's the final Sunday in July. How's that even possible, summer just got rolling and now it's more than half over. I don't know about you, but I intend to enjoy every minute that's left.
I'm continuing to post from my Georgian/Regency era romance novella, Snowflakes & Beeswax. This week's snippet picks up where my last snippet left off.
Take some time to visit the Weekend Writing Warriors and Sunday Snippet sites where you'll find links leading to some very talented authors who've decided to participate in this week's blog hop.
Oliver forgot how to breathe. His mouth dried and his pulse quickened. Every iota of his being snapped to attention and focused on Madelyn.
He’d originally encountered Madelyn on his first trip to this remote farm. She’d opened the door at his knock and left him speechless. Their eyes briefly met before she bolted past him and disappeared. Since then he’d only glimpsed her from a distance.
Jess, that's lovely. I'm always excited about male POVs - especially in romance. You did an excellent job here! One thing though: I feel a bit stupid even bringing up small things such as typos, but I saw it, so it's there: - "They're eyes briefly met" -> "Their eyes briefly met." :)
ReplyDeleteOops, pesky typos. They've been haunting me all week for some reason. Thanks!
DeleteEnjoyable excerpt! Oliver is obviously besotted with Marilyn. "Every iota of his being" - great turn of phrase there. :-) (Sorry; I noticed the typo as well.)
ReplyDeleteThank you, Debbie!
DeleteThose darn typos, eh? I find myself grimacing at typos I find all the time.
ReplyDeleteI wonder if Oliver forgot how to breathe or forgot to breathe? Both make sense, but I wonder which nuance you're going for.
I like your title...Snowflakes and Beeswax. :)
Anastasia Vitsky
Great, a new issue to obsess over. =) I'm going to have to give this nuance issue some serious consideration. Thanks, Ana!
DeleteBless, the poor lad is obviously smitten! Great 8!
ReplyDeleteJess, nice 8! We certainly get the fact that Oliver is quite taken with Maddy--love your description, "Oliver forgot to breathe" is perfect!! We're there!
ReplyDeleteWow, he's quite smitten. Very strong physical reaction to her, so well drawn!
ReplyDeleteGood descriptions here, Jess. I can picture Oliver standing there staring, not breathing, so caught up in Madelyn. Nice.
ReplyDeleteI kind of like 'forgot how to breathe' - less common than 'forgot to breathe.' Plus, to me it implies his entire body can't focus on anything but her; it seems somehow more intense that way.
You know, my fingers often hit letters I don't intend for them to hit. Thank goodness for that backspace key!!! =)
Oh that poor boy has got it bad! Great job in getting that across by his body's reaction. Excellent snippet. Can't wait until next week. I can just see him "habada, habada" when he tries to speak to her!
ReplyDeleteHistory Sleuth's Milk Carton Murders
He's a goner. Love how all of his attention fixes on her the moment he sees her.
ReplyDeleteI like this a lot. He sees her and is like mesmerized. So much so that he forgets to breathe. This holds the promise of LOVE!
ReplyDeleteYou're so sweet. If I've written the story correctly is supposed to a be souls uniting type of story.
DeleteShe has quite an effect on him, poor guy! Loved it, excellent excerpt!
ReplyDeleteThank you. That's what I was going for.
DeleteAw, bless him. Sweet snippet.
ReplyDeleteI can't believe July's almost over, either. Summer has just flown by. Loved this excerpt. Your description is fabulous! :)
ReplyDeleteGreat snippet - he sure sounds taken with Madelyn!
ReplyDeleteBut does it last?
ReplyDeleteAwww. Now, how does she feel about him?
ReplyDeleteLove it. I hope she doesn't tease the boy too bad!
ReplyDeleteTerrific snippet, I felt his thrill and her panic.
ReplyDeleteGood snippet, Jess. You could probably combine the two paragraphs so the backstory doesn't slow the action. For example: "Oliver forgot how to breathe. His mouth dried and his pulse quickened. Every iota of his being snapped to attention and focused on Madelyn. It had been that way from the moment he'd first encountered her at this very door. Their eyes had briefly met before she'd bolted past him and disappeared. Now he looked his fill." It gives us the sense of what happened before to make him react again the present. Sounds like she's got him hooked without trying. :)
ReplyDeleteWell done. Definitely want to read more! Thanks for sharing :)
ReplyDeleteGreat description of is reaction.
ReplyDeleteA lovely eight there.
ReplyDeleteI love that he's besotted and she's heading for the hills. Charming!
ReplyDelete