Welcome back for another week of great writing snippets! It's a marvelous experience.
My original plan was to post 8 sentences that follow my last WeWriWa post, which was selected from my YA WIP, Dwarfed, but I stumbled across
this particular snippet while editing the other day and it tickled my sense of humor, so I decided to post it instead. Some creative editing was required before it fit the 8 sentence limit.
Don't forget to visit the blogs of my fellow Sunday snippet and Weekend Writing Warriors participants as they post collections of sentences from their works in progresses and completed manuscripts. Every genre is represented.
If I get in the stall with the
piglets, I won’t be trapped, but I also won’t be able to get out very quickly. Luke’s
tall enough to jump over the side, I’m not. I’ll be pig kibble.
I stare at the sow: her floppy ears
jiggle and bounce as she leans into Luke’s touch. I swear she’s smiling.
“She's an old pro at this,” Luke
says. “She knows humans aren't going to hurt her babies.”
“Will you keep scratching her?”
Maybe, if his fingers keep her distracted, she won’t develop an impulsive
hatred of redheaded teenagers.
Funny, it looks like such a short little snippet, but I had to use some creative editing in order to meet the requirements and I still went one sentence over.
Funny, it looks like such a short little snippet, but I had to use some creative editing in order to meet the requirements and I still went one sentence over.
Jess, that's so charming and lighthearted! Perfect YA. Love how you work in details like her height or the color of her hair.
ReplyDeleteP.S. I just wanted to mention that I had to look up the word "kibble" for I was unfamiliar with it, and when I googled the phrase "pig kibble", a link to your wewriwa post popped up in third place. :D
Cool! Not only have I learned that pig kibble is a great way to boost my blogs SEO, I also now know that kibble isn't an international word. In the U.S. it's used mostly in reference to dog/cat food. Are there any similar slang words you'd use instead.
DeleteI'm guessing kibble is a pretty common word! The reason I didn't stumble across it before was that according to the dictionary I'm using, it's very specifically used for "dry pet-food", emphasis on the dry part, but also interchangeable with "grind" and oddly enough, in Britain, "bucket". I don't know if that's correct though!? I knew of the words feed, food and chows, that's what appears when I look up the German word "Futter". Fascinating stuff. :D
DeleteAn unusual snippet that caught my interest :-)
ReplyDeleteBEWARE THE SOW!!!! ;D Great 8!
ReplyDeleteLOL :)
DeleteNice pig story. Your narrator seems so uncomfortable.
ReplyDeleteExcellent! That's what I was shooting for in this snippet. 500lb+ new mammas can be intimidating.
DeleteThe writing in this scene is so transparent, I forgot I was reading and stepped into the pig pen with her. Very well done.
ReplyDeletePig kibbles! Hilarious. Love this eight. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteEven when she's nervous, she has a snappy wit! I'm really liking this story.
ReplyDeleteAw, they can be quite scary pigs, I can just see her standing there hoping for the best!
ReplyDeleteThat last line put me to mind of the "red-headed stepchild" :-) I'm glad she has a healthy respect for pigs. When I was young, I remember seeing chicken feathers in the pig pen. Some silly ( and soon to be deceased) chicken must have seen something in there worth pursuing.
ReplyDeleteI like Grace. I like her spunk, I like her way of dealing with the extra challenges that face her. Great character, Jess. And you know I love this story. :-) It's unique.
Back in my 4-H and FFA days, I never considered my pigs dangerous, but my perspective has changed. They're the ultimate ommnivore. The old HBO show, Deadwood, did a pretty good job showing that, and I've heard a few harrowing real world stories of farmers who people think had heartattacks or strokes while feeding the hogs.
DeleteThey're a wonderful animal, but they need to be respected. One a sort of related note, most horses are afraid of pigs.
Nice witty humor in this snippet. And no, it's not too short...we only get 8 sentences after all. You sure love animals and incorporate them flawlessly in your stories. Great 8!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Frank
DeleteUnusual and interesting snippet. Not sure how much iId trust that sow...
ReplyDeleteThanks!
DeleteHorses are afraid of anything if it suits them -- rocks, telephone poles, dry ditches...
ReplyDeleteFun snippet. I know I would think multiple times before getting into a pen with a mama pig and a bunch of new babies.
My youngest horse is terrified of ceilings. Since I had pigs growing up, my horses were never phased by them, but everyone else I know seems to have at least one good story about how their horse is afraid of pigs.
DeleteThanks for stopping by!
Interesting. I enjoy this story, the characters feel so real to me. Personally, no way I'd step into that pen! Luke or no Luke...another great snippet!
ReplyDeleteMammas with new babies are potentially dangerous, no matter what the species. God snippet.
ReplyDeletePigs are scary. I'm with every one else...don't become kibble!
ReplyDeleteLove the "pig kibble" term. :) No may in hell I'd step in there even if I knew I could get out. My only pig story is the 410lb pig we recently split with someone that is now in my freezer. :) You do a very good job of incorporating the animals into your stories, it reflects your experience with them. Nice 8, Jess.
ReplyDelete--LOL--!! Totally awesome excerpt, Jess. Absolutely wonderful. Visual, emotional, not too much detail, not too little, and we feel even closer to Grace than we did before, and I didn't think that was possible! You've got a first-rate story here, and you're telling it perfectly.
ReplyDelete.....and that's a drop-dead-adorable photo up top, too!!
ReplyDeleteThanks. That little guy, along with some of his siblings, helped me feed one night. He than graciously posed for some pictures.
Deletevery cute snippet. I never realized pigs were scary.
ReplyDeleteI've seen a pig up close. They're enormous and will eat anything. I understand her fears. Still, you managed to make this very cute.
ReplyDeleteI can relate to her fears. I knew someone with a potbellied pig--which are a smaller breed, but still not *small*--and she was one scary pig. If she didn't like you, she'd open her mouth and show you her teeth in a clear threat.
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't want to get anywhere near that sow.
I have such a soft spot for little piggies, but big piggies mean business. So enjoyed this snippet! Thanks for sharing! :)
ReplyDeleteA cute scene there.
ReplyDeleteIn the spring I enjoy taking long walks and spending time outside. I got to take a walk today and really enjoyed it.
ReplyDeleteVirginia
lead AT hotsheet DOT com
"Pig Kibble"... love that! :-) Charming and they do look like they're smiling don't they? But I totally get the "I don't want to mess with a mama" part. Great snippet!
ReplyDelete