Sunday, May 6, 2012

Six Sentence Sunday: A Near Miss part 2


For this week's six sentence Sunday I decided to use the six sentences that that directly follow the six I used last week. They're from my young adult WIP, DWARFED. The other wonderful authors participating in this weeks SSS can be found here.

Thanks for taking the time to read it. Any comments and criticisms will be welcomed and given due consideration.


“It seems so,” I mutter . Laughter radiates from his beautiful eyes as he tucks my piglet under one arm, and stretches his free hand towards me. His callused skin scrapes against mine as I let him tug me to my feet.
I keep my head bent to hide my bright red cheeks as I take my new pig from him, and cuddle her against my chest. The solid feel of her weight against my heart doesn’t stop way stomach jumps around as I peer up at Luke through my eyelashes.
Had I really almost kissed him?

 Photo courtesy of Flicker.com

19 comments:

  1. He sounds very kiss-worthy indeed. Next time she should skip that 'almost' part.

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  2. These are by far the sweetest six I read all day today, Jess. I especially enjoyed the fifth sentence, piglet against jumping stomach - sounds like the anthem for romance. :) I like the suggestive hints quite a lot, I think they are perfect for YA!

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    1. Oh my gosh, you're so sweet. Thanks!

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  3. Love the way she feels as she cuddles the piglet. Great six!

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  4. Love the sexual tension. Nice work. Very cool about including pigs in your story. Love pigs! :-)

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  5. "His callused skin scrapes against mine as I let him tug me to my feet."

    I love that line because it conveys so much about your hero and it's a great contrast to the soft piglet tucked in her arm.

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  6. I love stories with piglets in them!

    Should this read "The solid feel of her weight against my heart doesn’t stop the way my stomach jumps around..."? The second "the" and the second "my" aren't there in the posted bit.

    Lovely six, Jess!

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  7. It's the start of a steamy love story. you're words have a good pull Jess. Farmers/ranchers are rugged dudes and you show us that well.

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  8. Love the atmosphere you weave here! Great job :)

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  9. Captured this moment of embarrassment for her very well!

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  10. Oh, do I ever have a thing for calloused hands. *shivers* Love this, and love the piglets!

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  11. Bless! Sounds like she should definitely kiss him next time.

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  12. Very sweet. The UST in YA stories is very affecting.

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  13. Cute! Will we see a kiss in the future? I really like these two already. Great job!

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  14. I was on the road all weekend visiting a friend, and was shocked to see all the great comments. Thank you so much.

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  15. Such a cute six ... made me miss my pet pig! LOL

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  16. *Sigh* This really evokes the emotions of young love and how every look and touch mean SO MUCH. Looking forward to reading more next Sunday. So nice to meet you through SSS!

    ~Joyce Scarbrough

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  17. This is a such a sweet story, Jess. Reminds of my daughter's 4-H days. :-)

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