Sunday, August 11, 2013

Introducing Madelyn #WeWriWa Snippet for August 11, 2013

Happy Sunday Everybody! I hope your is a good one!

I'm still posting from a short Christmas story I wrote, Snowflakes & Beeswax, but I'm FINALLY changing points of view. This week is all about Madelyn, a shy, Georgian woman, who wants nothing more than to be left alone.

Don't forget to check out some the amazing writers participating in this week's Weekend Writing Warrior blog hop!

Madelyn’s heart lodged in her throat and refused to drop back to its proper location. She twisted her fingers in Jack’s silky hair, and stared at the men.  
 She’d spent the past weeks getting ready for their arrival and trying to convince herself things would be fine, that she'd could handle their presence on her farm, but each time her thoughts turned to their pending arrival she forced herself to take a deep breath and told herself she could manage them as well as her father did. Now that they were here, her resolve fled. Her quivering knees were the only things preventing her from wheeling and running away.  
She’d give anything to be anywhere else right now. Even emptying chamber pots was preferable to dealing with people. 

17 comments:

  1. Nice character development!! This is a good look into what makes her tick, Jess. Nice 8! :-)

    ReplyDelete
  2. I agree with the comment about the character development. It's very realistic and I can feel for her wanting to be elsewhere. Nice 8, Jess.

    ReplyDelete
  3. An awesome post, Jess. You get right inside her *personality*. That last line in particular hits the nail on the head.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I know how she feels.... great snippet, and like others have commented a terrific character portrait!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Agree with all of the above! Great character study. Looking forward to the next instalment.

    ReplyDelete
  6. A wonderful look at what makes her tick. Great snippet!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Oh gosh, I feel her anguish. Poor thing. Great job dragging me in and making me care for her instantly! Excellent eight!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Aww, I want to give her a hug. You described her emotions very well - excellent excerpt.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Terrific emotion in this. I'm wondering what makes her so skittish. I know how she feels, though. Terrific snippet!

    ReplyDelete
  10. As everyone else said - great emotional character reveal - does make the reader want to hug her and stand beside her. Nicely done!!

    ReplyDelete
  11. great snippet! I really like how your deep pov got me into the story and how I felt I was in her head and feeling what she was feeling.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Great emotion there.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Ha! I know just how she feels. Great snippet!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Loved that Jess, i can feel her resentment and her longing for everything to be as it was.

    ReplyDelete
  15. First off, I love the title of your story! This was a terrific excerpt that hooked me right away. Well-written and great description throughout. :)

    ReplyDelete